Since it is so likely that
children will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights
and heroic courage.
C.S.
Lewis
So, we have already discussed if
Chivalry is dead and if it’s sexist. The next big question is if it’s even
needed, especially in these modern days of gender equality. To discuss this, I
am going to have to take a mind frame that I usually try to avoid, to focus at the
negative aspect of this generation and the one to come of age. I say that I try
to avoid this because I have never believed in judging one generation as if the
previous one was exempt of their own issues. I also am a firm believer that
spotlighting negative aspects does little to create positive results, but if we
don’t understand the negative aspects that today’s men deal with, we can’t
really understand if Chivalry is truly needed.
We live in a society that is
providing men two options; become the douchebag slacker/mook or men who have
been taught to be ashamed of being a man. Combine that with a scarcity for
proper role models and a society that focuses on selfishness and self-gratification,
we are left with a poor profile of what we can expect from modern men.
We are bombarded most media with the
image of the slacker man-child, the incompetent dad, and the douchebag asshole;
all of which are justified with the simple notion that you can’t expect any
more from men. In social media, we are then bombarded with the idea that toxic
masculinity has made all masculinity something of a death trap for anyone who
relates with men in general. We have become guilty of the crime of being men,
unless we ourselves begin to condemn the dangers of being a man, because apparently
men have no self-control over their animal instincts.
With so many outside influences
telling young men they aren’t good enough, you would think that we provide them
with some kind of positive example, a role model to teach them what they can do
right. Yet they are left to look up to men who can get away with domestic
abuse, drug charges, and sexual violence simply because of their athletic
ability, musical talent, or financial situation. The boys are learning these
lessons well as we can see in our current college campuses.
Instead of telling boys everything they
are doing wrong and will do wrong, why don’t we give them examples they can
look up to, give them hope that they can be more, and teach them that life isn’t
about “what’s in it for me,” but about “what can I give back.” That’s what
Chivalry has been about from the beginning, men who live in a way that they set
an example to others, who lead by doing, and inspire others to dream about achieving
better world.
We need to stop glamorizing the
slacker and the douchebag. We need to stop equating toxic masculinity with all
masculinity. We need to teach boys to strive for more than just sliding by. We
need to men that being a man isn’t an excuse for incompetent parenting, and
that the label of Dad is earned. We need to teach men to stand up for others
and not just themselves. We need to create a society where being a man shouldn’t
be an excuse for bad behavior but instead a reason for good behavior. We need
to set examples to men of all they can achieve, instead of treating them as a
problem that needs to be fixed.
How far could men go if we taught
them to do better, instead of telling them what they are doing wrong?
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