Resistance to the organized
mass can be effected only by the man who is as well organized in his individuality
as the mass itself.
Carl
Jung
As a teenager in full blown
rebellion and social angst, I openly try to challenge every single notion that
was given to me, to the dismay of my teachers, the principal, and my parents. I
challenged every status quo I came with every word and every action. I wanted
to break down the chains I felt held back society as I tried to rip off
people’s blindfold. I know now that the only reason I was able to get away with
that attitude was a combination of my grades, that I was able to argue without
becoming aggressive or vulgar, and that they viewed me as an artist. Artists
are socially expected to be rebels. At some time during those years, my
grandfather sat me down and challenged me with a single question:
If you are an individual, why do you
dress and talk like the rest of your friends?
Although I went on a rant as to how
I refused to become a drone to a society trying to keep everyone in line,
internally I realized something. In my fight to avoid becoming a drone to
society, I had become a drone to MY society. I fought what they fought and
agreed with what they agreed. In my attempt to avoid seeking the approval of
society, I ended up seeking the approval of my niche.
That’s when I started to wake up.
As we are bombarded by people
telling us to how to act, how to be, and EVERYTHING we are doing wrong; many
times we are made to feel how the only way to fit in is to fit a mold. The
reality is that no single mold that fits everyone. So we so often force
ourselves into that mold, even if we deny it, simply to feel we are part of
something bigger than ourselves. And being part of something bigger than
yourself is not only OK, it’s actually something very good to be. The problem
is when you stop thinking for yourself as you get assimilated within the group.
After a while you lose who you are as you get lost in the crowd. We see this in
every aspect of society and the different tribes we belong too.
We see how people defend the
indefensible simply because it’s said by the group they identify with. We see
how people will condemn good ideas simply because they are said by those you
oppose. We see this in politics, religion, social justice issues, and society
in general. They will use a magnifying glass over those they oppose yet turn a
blind eye to those they support.
And that’s where you have to wake
up.
I know that this might sound counterintuitive coming from a person who promotes the Gentleman niche within
society. I keep finding myself at odds with some of the other bloggers who
promote this contemporary Gentleman’s revival, as they will basically focus on
their own view of becoming a Gentleman, one I find myself not agreeing with so
often. That is why I try my best to avoid telling you how to specifically act.
I simply expose the concepts and the practicality, leaving the means and
methods of it to you.
Identifying with a group is fine,
but more importantly is for you to identify with yourself. You need to take the
time to form your own educated ideals and code of conduct. Create a code that
avoids the so often convenient double standards found within so many larger
groups. Keep in mind that this will never be a code written in stone. It isn’t
that your code changes but rather that it is constantly evolving, as with every
day you learn more and with each day you grow more.
If you can’t be faithful to
yourself, how can you be faithful to anyone else?
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