The love of family and the
admiration of friends is much more important than wealth and privilege.
Charles
Kuralt
One of the big issues brought up
constantly about gender inequality is the fact that professional women are asked
how they plan to balanced their professional life with their family life, yet
men where never asked this. Corporate society expects women to prioritize their
role as a wife or a mother above their professional ambitions, yet this kind of
expectation isn’t placed on men. After so many years of men expected to neglect
their family life, maybe it’s time asking them the same question and expect
them to have an answer.
There is a social assumption that the
role of the man is simply to be a good provider. The harder he works, the more
he demonstrates how dedicated he is to his family. If this is true, why do so
many men feel guilty about neglecting their family because of work? Why do so many
spouses or kids feel neglected by an absentee father whose only role within the
family is that of a the guy who pays the bills? Why do so many men made to feel that their
role in society is to be little more than a credit card holder?
This needs to change. Too often men
assume that the only way to be a real man is to be a good provider, even if
this means sacrificing their family life. They are told to equate professional
success with their success as a husband or father, never wanting to realize the
damage we do to men and their families when creating that relationship. We need
to start asking men to balance their professional life with their personal
life.
Keep in mind that I am not talking
about not providing for your family. What I am talking about is to keep
priorities about what’s important in life. We need to open our eyes before we
damage ourselves and those around us beyond repair.
Ambitious and competitive professional
behavior has been ingrained so deeply within our mind that we end up assuming
that the only way to succeed within our modern corporate world is to neglect
our family. “I am providing my family a better life” has become the mantra that
most use to justify their actions, without realizing how a truly better life for
your family doesn’t come from a bigger TV or even a bigger home. It comes from
having a bigger heart and the time to share it.
Yet that neglect of our family is
viewed by so many bosses as a sign of disloyalty to the employment. They will
try to blackmail and shame you into submission under the threat of someone else
getting a promotion, the raise, or simply the risk of losing your job. Honestly?
If your boss is making you choose between your work and your family, it’s time
to find a new job. Changing jobs is a lot easier than getting a divorce or the
guilt of neglecting a child.
Don’t turn your role within your
family into simply a walking wallet and then complain that they don’t view you
as anything else. By the same token, don’t let anyone in your family turn you
into a walking wallet. Get involved and become an actual part of the family and
the home. Spend time with your spouse and have fun with your kids. Getting to
know what does on in their lives is a lot more important than covering the bill
for their lives. In the case of divorce, covering your financial obligations DOES
NOT excuse you from your familial obligations. In reality, your familial
obligation to your kids far exceeds any child support agreement you have.
With all this in mind, don’t let
anyone reduce your role in life to a bank account. The first person that needs
to stop doing this is you. Work shouldn’t be the reason to live, but a tool to
get a life. Learn to value yourself and those around you. Jobs come and go, so
does money. At the end, you are simply left with the smiles and laughter you
shared with those close to you.
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