Masculinity is not something
given to you, but something you gain. And you gain it by winning small battles
with honor.
Norman Mailer
One of
the most interesting things I have notices with men supporting equal rights
between the genders is the idea that they have to renounce to the idea of
genders, as if it was the notion of genders that lead to inequality. “I treat
everyone the same, regardless of Gender.” “I don’t see gender, I see people.” “We
need to get rid of the Man-Box.”
On the
other side of the debate, “manly” men say that being a feminist or simply being
a sensitive man, means you lose your masculinity. A man is tough, strong, and apparently
insecure enough that he needs the approval of the rest of the guys.
And that’s
when I am drawn to look at the modern feminist women. How did they handle
questioning gender roles and gender inequality. Did they give up on their femininity?
At one point, you could say they did. But as the movement developed and
evolved, they realized that they had no reason to be ashamed of their own femininity.
On the contrary, they chose to be empowered by their womanhood! If a guy is intimidated by an empowered
woman, he has real problems with his own concepts of masculinity.
So why
should we thing that giving up our masculinity, our manhood, would in any way
help gender equality. We should learn from the women feminists. As with femininity,
masculinity is nothing more than to be able to be able to lay comfortably in
your own skin. You must accept the fact that you are a man, and determine what
that means to you.
Only
when we are no longer ashamed of our genders can we promote equality between
them.
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