7/7/14

When is Quality Time is Not Enough?



I know that I usually start most articles with a quote, something to set the tone. Not today and not for this. This is something I really want you to read and consider. Today I am talking to every man who is in a relationship, who is married, or who has kids, especially if you consider yourself a good man by dedicating your entire existence to them. 

Stop doing that.

Ok, let me clarify this before you think I lost my mind. We, tend to work like beasts of burden, to give everything to those close to us. We wake up before dawn and come home spent. We take jobs far away from those we love, just to provide for them, to make sure they aren’t missing anything. We pride ourselves in our sacrifice, especially when we consider all the deadbeats and all the lazy men out there. And as part of our sacrifice, we always place our loved ones before any of our needs, as we stop taking care of ourselves. It gets to the point where buy life insurance to take care of our family after we are gone, as if burning yourself to death is the ultimate proof of love.

And while we work ourselves, literally to death, guess what they are missing? A boyfriend to your lover, a husband to your spouse, and a father to your child. I know that you will probably pull out either the the “but I have bills to pay” card or the “Quality Time” card on me. I am not talking about quitting your job or risking your family’s financial security or anything like that. What I am saying is that working yourself to death for your family, at the expense of your family makes no sense.

First off, Quality time? Take time and think of your own life. What where the moments that defined you? The instances of quality time, or that random event? It wasn’t that overly planned outing but rather that random encounter or event that lead to something else or that time you spent with someone special. You can’t plan these things. What you can do is be there as much as possible. Kids grow up fast and love fades away faster. Relish it.

Second, do you think that new cellphone for your kids is more important that time spent with them? If they think so, then I can guarantee you need to spend time with them. Do you think your lover prefers a new gold watch over honest affection? If they think so, you really need to reconsider the kind of lover you have. Time is the best gift you can give them. Work should be seen for what it is. A necessary evil that keeps you from your loved ones and a tool to get what you need to enjoy life.

Third, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! No matter how much monetary compensation they receive from the insurance agency, it will not replace you. Take care of your health. You can’t run in the park with your kid or you can’t spend the entire night loving your spouse because you’re not that fit? Is that triple bacon double burger worth it? I am not saying that you should go all health nut on them, but just make sure you are not digging your own grave.