7/23/14

The Man Women Most Want to Spend Time With (Guest post by The Fierce Gentleman)

(Today, we have the honor of having The Fierce Gentleman as a Guest Blogger. I have been a fan of his message and his blog for a while. So I leave you all in the competent hands of @FierceGentleman.)

I was inspired in the following article, The Ethical Lothario, by Being Caballero. 

The esteemed author of this article is correct; we need to stop viewing our interactions with women solely on our ability to mate and match. As he so eloquently put it: "Just because you're not her Mr. Right, doesn't mean you have to be her Mr. Wrong." 

I wanted to share my perspective when I meet women. Female readers may find this enlightening. 

Whatever women I find in front of me is the right woman for me to be talking to at that moment. Because I do not believe in a random universe, I know that we were brought together for a purpose, and there is -- at bare minimum -- a joyful moment of togetherness that we can create. Even if we don't get along. Even if we have no chemistry. Even if we never see each other again. There is also probably something I can learn from her in our interaction, and I do my best to approach every woman in this spirit. 

In fact, it's because we may never see each other again that I practice Presence. What if I am the last man to ever speak to her? I must speak to her tenderly and with my full attention. What if I am the last man to touch her? I must touch her with that in mind. Either of us could die tomorrow. An asteroid could wipe us out in the next minute. Let's make our words and actions count, and not waste time in banter on banal generalities. 

Let me breathe deeply and hold her eye contact, so she knows she has my full attention. Let her blossom in the warmth of my Presence. Most of us don't listen to each other anymore in conversation, so let her have a taste of being really listened to, and the positive effects can ripple outward from there. 

The other point I want to address is the point of neediness; that men see every attractive woman as a potential romantic partner, and approach her in that spirit. This is caused by artificial sexual scarcity instilled by a society seeking to divorce ourselves from genuinely erotic lives, and then sell them back to us piecemeal by connecting sex to every useless consumer gadget we simply must buy. 

In order to escape this twisted manipulation, we as men need to create or re-create our own erotic lives, starting with mindful love of ourselves that does not devolve into empty fantasy (i.e., pornography). If we are nourished and abundant on a physical and emotional level, why would we feel craving or neediness towards a woman? This allows us to enjoy women for everything they offer without attachment to making them a girlfriend, wife or bedmate. 

It will sound silly, but how many of us ever thank our body for all the work it does for us? How many of us are proud of the strength of our arms, the pillars of our legs? Most modern men, I've found, are completely disconnected from their bodies. It's time to plug back into our physicality so we can draw up the energy that the world requires of us. 

But let's not do it for women - let's do it for ourselves, and let everyone benefit.