Don’t ask people to change but rather let them change.

You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.

Jim Rohn

Before we start, let me make one thing absolutely clear, the world constantly changes and so do people. The fact that today is another day means there was a change. The fact that you refuse to change who you where yesterday means you changed into someone more stubbornly set in your ways. Which brings to my second comment on change; change is neither good nor bad. How you change is what determines if it’s good or bad.

That being said, I want to let you in on a secret about change. Nobody can change to please someone else. You will constantly hear parents asking their kids to change, wives asking their husbands to change, girlfriends asking their boyfriends to change. This doesn’t work because it will never be a real change. Whatever change happens here, it’s only a change seeking the approval of the other person (or at least to get them off your back). As soon as you don’t want that person’s approval (when you are angry with them) or think they will never find out, you will revert to your old ways.

That doesn’t mean you can’t change for someone. It’s usually because of someone that you make your best changes. Let me explain.

Change only happens when you realize you need to make yourself into a better person, when you finally take off your blinders and open your eyes. Maybe it took loosing someone, or maybe it took finding someone. Maybe it simply took you finding yourself in a mirror that you can no longer stand the man looking back at you.

When you wake up and understand how you have to change, how you can better yourself, then you can actually change. When you take responsibility for yourself, when you stop blaming your surroundings and others, you can change for the better.