Be Coffee My Friend

The same boiling water than softens the potato hardens the egg. It’s about what you’re made of, not the circumstances.

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It’s very probable that this meme has come across your social media feed. The general idea is that difficult events in your life don’t define you, but rather the notion that you are defined by what you’re made of. And it’s quite inspirational, the notion of “you define you.” Except that’s not what the meme says.

Take a moment and think about it. On one end, the resilient person, one able to stand up to life’s challenges, when faced with pain and adversity, will end up mashable as they lose their strength to face off against any other challenge, as they are no longer as resistant and tough as it previously was. On the other side, the fragile person with the malleable heart and flowing spirit, when confronted by pain and adversity, will become hard boiled, no longer able to show emotions or affection. The shell might look the same, but inside they now carry a stiff spirit and a hardened heart.

In both cases, adversity changed the person into the diametrical opposite of who they were. And when you consider it, that change might not always be into something better.

Not that inspiring now, right?

But what if you had another option, one where you understand that you will face adversity and prepare accordingly. What if you take the seed you were and grind off all the weaknesses, cast yourself against the fires and heat till you burn off the impurities. What if, instead of you being changed into something different by adversity, it’s you who changes adversity into something different? What if you defined yourself, prepared yourself, to turn what many would consider adversity into something that awakens and inspires others.

What if, instead of being an egg or a potato, you became coffee? Instead of being changed by adversity, it’s the coffee seed that turns adversity into something more, something better.  Now, something as simple, yet hostile, as boiling water, is now filled with flavor and aroma.

Be like coffee. When things are at their worse, bring up your game. If anything, adversity will brings out the best in you as you know how to change the situation around yourself. You don’t fear the darkness, as you know that the best coffee is as dark as night and you don’t fear the heat as you know it only serves to unleash your potential. You don’t fear being pressed by life as this is how you work your magic, and you don’t fear life’s greatest trials as you know those are the times when you awaken the souls of those around you.

Be coffee my friend.

Hosting 101

A gentleman has his eyes on all those present; he is tender toward the bashful, gentle toward the distant, and merciful toward the absent.

Lawrence G. Lovasik

A few days ago, a clip from The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon caught some attention because of how he and Nicole Kidman first met. Several years ago, Nicole Kidman (certified by People Magazine as one of the 10 most beautiful people in the world) was interested in meeting Mr. Fallon, so she had a friend set them up. When she got to his apartment, he had no idea what to do or what to say, and not knowing it was that she was interested in him, proceeded to play videogames.

Watch the hilarious disaster below. 

He tried to excuse his behavior by stating he didn’t know this was a “date.” Others online dismiss it as the “awkward Geeky” Guy, and find it adorable. Me? I’m just am glad that Keth Urban came along and showed Ms. Kidman that #NotAllMen prefer Video Games to Ladies. Because even if he didn’t know it was a date, she was his guest and the very least you can offer a guest is your attention.

And I can bet he is not alone. I had previously mentioned the importance of having your home properly set up, but how do you handle visitors, be it romantic, professional, or simply amicable guests. So with that in mind, let’s deal with the basics of Hosting.

Hosting is not having a couple of college friends over to drink beer, eat chips and day old pizza, and play video games. There is nothing wrong with this, but this is definitely not hosting. Hosting is about creating a proper impression on your guest. So let’s break this down.

Attire:

I think mentioning that sweatpants, stained tshirts, trucker caps, or flipflops is not proper attire to greet should be obvious. Consider how you would dress up if you were meeting them outside; now take it down a bit. It’s that simple.

Food:

Unless this is a dinner party, food should be kept light. If your skills in the kitchen are lacking, sure, pull out the cheese and crackers. Just remember that cheese is for mice and crackers are for parrots, so… consider brushing up on your kitchen skills.

You don’t need to go full blown restaurant style hors d'oeuvres, but making some kind of appetizers should be fine. Look up some simple recipe in YouTube, especially something you could “improvise” in front of your guest. This way it doesn’t look like you planed it out.

Sprezzatura, my friend.

Refreshments:

Let me make something clear here, I am not saying you should have a fully stocked bar, or that you should be a trained mixologist. What I am saying is have options. Not everyone drinks scotch (Hey, I have learned to respect everyone, no matter their taste in poisons), not everyone drinks beer, and not everyone is a fan of wine. Some people don’t even drink spirits at all. Don’t force your own tastes on your guests, they are your guests after all. 

Be able to mix up something simple like a Mojito or a Martini if you really want to show off. Maybe have some Sangria premade in the fridge “just because.” I think that having some good coffee and the proper equipment to make it is a must, but then again I openly admit being a coffee addict.

Try to have the proper glassware for each spirit you might serve. Red Solo Cups are fine for frat boys, but you are no longer in a frat or are a boy. Cheap glasses are always better than expensive plastic cups.

Entertainment:

Do you know what is the most important item of entertainment in your entire home? YOU. Everything else should blend in the background and frame you as it’s your obligation to entertain your guest. They came over to see a movie? No. They came so YOU could share a movie with them. Same goes for music, and even Video Games. I would even advise against these things, except for music. The visit should be about conversation and enjoying each other’s company. Music should be used to set a mode, not to dominate it.

Special Note on the Video Games: Unless the guest brings over a game, DO NOT TURN ON YOUR GAME SYSTEM. Be an Urban, not a Fallon.

 

Suspended in Charity

Good actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others.

Plato

Man walks into a coffee shop, pays for two coffees, only pick one up and walks away. Sounds like the set up for a joke, but that’s my first experience with a Caffè Sospeso. I looked at the man and politely told him that he forgot to get his second coffee. He looked at me and with all the dignity in the world said that coffee is something he would never forget, and pointed at a board behind the cashier.

A story of charity and generosity has been floating around the internet for several years now. The Urban legend says that in a working-class Café in Naples, every time someone who experienced a streak of good look would walk in and order a Caffè Sospeso. He would pay for two coffees but would only take one. Any poor soul entering the Café afterwards could inquire if there was a Sospreso available. He then would be handed the prepaid coffee. 

How much truth is there to the original story? Some people started saying that this story was started by coffee shops trying to boost sales. I think this is a rather petty way of seeing the world. Those people should change their attitude and start looking at the world as it should be. Whether the story is true or not, or whether the intention of the coffee shop was based on greed, the moral of the story and the reality that resulted is completely different. 

Hardships can hit anyone, and if life has been good enough to you, why not share your fortune. The idea is to do good because life has been good to you, to share your good fortune. To many people think you should do good to get good in return. You should do good because life has been good. You should do good because you should do good, and for no other reason. Don’t do good expecting payment. That is greed, and not generosity.

The Caffè Sospeso became a symbol of social solidarity. Coffee shops all over the world placed boards that read "Give if you wish. Get if you want". There they would mark available Sospeso, so everyone would know the shop was not cheating people out of charity. The tradition, being real or just an internet fantasy, inspired real acts of charity. Coffee shops began offering discount prices on Sospeso. Others would match Sospreso sales with monetary donations to Charities.

These random acts of anonymous charity have spread. From restaurants where people pay what they can for a meal to a free metro card taped on the subway entrance, charity is something found if we look for it. What you think is a small act, can actually mean the world for someone in need.

Edit:
If you want to support this movement, Suspended Coffee can tell you how. Learn more about the movement, and how to participate.