6/3/14

On being a Feminist Gentleman



Some say that the age of chivalry is past, that the spirit of romance is dead. The age of chivalry is never past, so long as there is a wrong left unredressed on earth.
Charles Kingsley
I am seriously surprised that I have to explain this, but here it goes. 
I am a man.
I try to be a Gentleman.
Therefore I am a Feminist.
And there is where I lose most people. For some strange reason being a Feminist and being a Gentleman are incompatible. Let me try to explain this again. I hold myself to a code of honor and behavior, based on the old chivalry rules of being a noble man, yet tempered to the modern world. I will stand against injustice. I will stand against discrimination. I will stand even if it means standing against the majority or even if it means challenging the social norm; ESPECIALLY if it means standing against the social norm.

So how exactly would that not make me fight for social equality? Because, guys, that is what feminism is. It’s not about special treatment, it’s not about putting women on pedestals, and it’s not about giving privileges to them. It’s about the fact that gender should not be used to measure a person’s capabilities.

Why is this so difficult to understand? 

Are there differences between men and women? Other than the obvious physical ones, none. Where the difference exists is in the worlds we live in, the challenges each gender gets from the world we live in. Women will be thrown with some challenges specific to them because of how the world views women. Men will be thrown with others specific to them because of how the world views men. That is where gender roles come into play. The same happens with race and social standings. 

Here’s the surprising fact for some out there. More women openly fight for men’s issues, real men’s issues, than most men. I am not talking about the stupid, superficial crap the #notallmen crowd complain about. I am not talking about opening doors or paying for dates or not getting sex. I am talking about equality in parenting rights and in divorce, propensity for suicide, and many others men's issues. 

Do you know why that is? Because that is what Feminism IS. It’s equality. If they are willing to fight for my rights, why would I not fight for theirs?

Am I a Gentleman? Yes, I hold myself to those standards and expect more from myself. That’s why I am also a Feminist.