Please Pardon my White Knighting. An open letter to Women

To all women out there,

We are sorry for any instance, be it in my actions or in my writings, that you might have felt we minimized your capabilities or made you feel inferior. That has never and will never be our intention. We can only sympathize with what you must be going through in these last few days. 

We might promote and believe in Gender equality but we know full well that the world you have to deal with has a different set of threats than the world we have to deal with as men.  We remember the constant terror people felt after Columbine, where people would live in constant fear of any guy walking around in a trench coat. We remember the constant paranoia many felt  after 911. And now we can only imagine how you all must feel after the USCB shooting. We know you that not all men are like that, but we also know that suddenly some men’s online threats, those rape jokes, and that creepy gaze take on a new level of horror.  And we know that some men will take advantage of it, feeling empowered by it.

Some men might use chivalry as a way to minimize you, but some do so to stand up to the men who threaten you. It’s not about minimizing you, saving you, being a hero, or even about impressing you. It’s because we understand that you shouldn’t have to deal with this. It’s about stopping the men who give all of us a bad name. It’s about being just, being righteous and simply being human. It's about understanding how no person should live in fear.

We are the stranger who stepped in when some guy tried to take advantage of you.

We are the friend who walked you home, or asks you to text to know you got home safe.

We are the boyfriend who stresses when you have a Girls night, knowing everything that might happen.

We are the dad who judges every boys you go out with, and will try to hold his tongue about the quality of guys you  pick.

We know sometimes in our misguided intentions we might step past our boundaries, and you have every right to call us out on it. This actually opens up a real conversation about what you as women have to deal with. But we are also aware just how bad things are, but some of us might not know how to express it.

But know that you don’t fight alone. Some of us will stand up. some of us will call out the less noble men. And some of us are more than willing to stand right there besides you in your battles. We know that you have done the same, stood by our side in our own battles. And for that we are ever grateful.


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