Fear is the little voice...

Fellow GMP writer, Luke Davis, wrote this wonderful comment on a quote I posted on the Facebook Page.

Fear tells us what we have to do… The more scared we are of work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it. –Steven Pressfield-

This was his reply:

Fear is the little voice
that pushes you from action
whispering don't do this
imagine all these horrible things

Fears are the shackles that bind
holding your feet to the ground
when action is required
inaction is the outcome.

What a load of camel dung.

Fear is naught but a sign
Here there be dragons
No more than a warning
A marker signaling trouble ahead

These images of goblins and ghouls
of our very souls rendered limb from limb
These pictures aren't part of the sign
We have painted them on ourselves

 "We have nothing to fear but fear itself"
Look at us quivering and shaking
a sign about a sign and we call it wisdom
Let us laugh at our own ridiculousness

I have fought monsters
dragons, giants and beasts
against most I have lost
yet battle on I shall

So thank you fear for your warning
For giving me time to prepare
A deamon now needs to be fought
If not me then who else.

An Evolving Gentleman

Some say that the age of chivalry is past, that the spirit of romance is dead. The age of chivalry is never past, so long as there is a wrong left unredressed on earth.

Charles Kingsley (1819-1875)

Chivalry and Gentlemanly behavior are evolving concepts, constantly changing as society changes. These are not static rules, but rather an organic ideal that reviews and refines it’s self as it strives to honor the world it lives in. that is why every time Chivalry has been pronounced dead or dying, it has been by men and women who don’t understand the concept.

Although the word Chivalry as we know it originated from the Medieval Knights, the concept of the Gentleman has an older and broader tradition. From the Confucius’s Noble Man, to the Greek’s Superior Man, to the Samurai, to the Roman Centurion, to any honor based tradition, the Gentleman’s ideals establish a frame where a man must hold himself accountable for his actions and serve as an example to those around him. Yet we keep seeing many willing and wanting to pronounce it dead at the first opportunity.

As the Knightly Orders no longer served their original purpose of a Military Class; Chivalry, their code of conduct, was pronounced dead. Ironically, the ones pronouncing the death of Chivalry were the ones who wanted to get rid of the power held by the Knight. Yet as the knights power faded, and the Nobility took over, the Noble class adopted a modified version of the very concepts they dismissed.

As Nobility was overthrown, the merchants and businessmen declared Chivalry dead once again. Yet they themselves adopted their own version of Chivalry and Gentlemanly behavior. And so forth every time society changed and evolved, men took the mantle of keeping a Code of Honor, based on a Warrior’s tradition as they understand their social obligations to lead by example. We are witnessing another time of social change, so why would you think that Chivalry and the Gentleman would not change with it? Men of Quality don’t fear Equality.

Sure, we have petty men who have tainted the concepts, but condemning either, chivalry and the Gentleman because of the acts of a few weak men is like condemning Christianity because of the Westboro Baptist Church. Within every ideology and every group, there are those that use the concepts for their own petty and personal interests.

So if you ask me, is Chivalry dead or if are all the Gentlemen gone? I say no. We, the modern Knights, still fight on. We replaced our horse with a car or a motorcycle, we traded our armor for a suit, and our pens replaced our swords. But that thirst for social justice and the determination to be a better man, which we refuse to give up.

Intent, a Gentleman’s essence.

A fraudulent intent, however carefully concealed at the outset, will generally, in the end, betray itself.

Livy

During my tournament days, the most important aspect my maestro would insist was that we always trained with Intent. Every action you took and every move you made had to reflect its intention, even when these where done in solo practice. Every punch and every kick should carry the power of an actual strike. Every breath should convey what you were doing. Even your eyes should reflect your intentions, your focus, and your commitment to what you were doing. He called this “Honesty of Intent.”

And that is what is wrong with so many men doing chivalry today.

Every couple of weeks I get forwarded an article where Chivalry and Gentlemanly behavior is called out for being sexist or for promoting the current rape culture. Yet on the other end of the same spectrum, every week I get forwarded and article where women complain how men have lost even the basic manners and social courtesy, where women complain that they can’t find respectable men.

So which is it? Is Gentlemanly behavior demeaning to women or is it prized by women? Let me start by stating the most important aspect of Chivalry and Gentlemanly behavior.

CHIVALRY IS NOT A TOOL TO IMPRESS WOMEN.

You don’t ACT like a Gentleman; you have to strive to be a Gentleman. It’s about how you treat yourself and what you expect from yourself. As for how this relates to the Ladies and basically to everyone you interact with. It’s all about intent.

Ask yourself if your actions are done to impress someone, to instill a reaction. Did you open the door expecting a thank you? Then you did it to get payment, even if that payment is simply recognition. Did you pay for dinner expecting something in return? Notice that you just reduced your date to a prostitute, where your payment was the food.

If your actions are tainted with any intent other than an honest act, if you expect anything in return, then you are not being chivalrous or a gentleman. Your focus is about personal gain and pettiness, no matter how courteous your actions might be.

The Designated White Knight

Good actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others.

Plato

As the internet flares up with women arguing back and forth whether chivalry is sexist or not and men argue whether chivalry reduces their manhood or enhances it; the reality is that women are targets of violent acts because of their gender. And this is not just a local issue, but rather a global and historical problem, something that is conveniently ignored by men and women who complain about chivalry. So when I run into news about men stepping up and doing their part, I am filled with hope for mankind.

The Brothers for Sisters Movement in Russia consists of young Gentlemen making sure that a lady is able to walk home after dark, where she is able to reach their front door safely completely free of charge. No courtship, no romancing, and no obligation; just a secure escort.

“Meeting young ladies, walking them home safe late at night, offering some help—that's what our group does… We set it up only to help tackle this particular problem our communities are facing now."

Denis Shotikov, 29, was helping restore an old horse stable in an equestrian center in St. Petersburg. As several female students left the center at night, Denis and several other in the center felt uncomfortable sending these women out into the dangerous streets. Having heard the horror stories of what women have to face while walking alone at night, they decided to start escorting the ladies to make sure that they got home safe. Seeing how well it worked and the good he was doing, Denis made an open call in the social media, inviting other young men to join the ranks of the “brothers” as well as an open invitation for “sisters” not to be shy about asking for help. That was the birth of Brothers for Sisters.

Keep in mind that any man wanting to join as a “brother” has to pass a rigorous selection process, involving several interviews and background checks. They began coordinating with the local authorities, since many of the brothers are off duty police men themselves. All candidates and members are required to be reasonably fit, and aren’t allowed to smoke, drink, or swear. What started as a couple of guys making sure their friend got home safe has grown into an entire social movement.

And their involvement helping others out started to grow past their “escort” service, a service where the brothers usually use their own cars. They have been called to handle aggressive ex-boyfriends or ex-husbands, to scare off the occasional stalker, or simply let a guy understand that No means No. And the community has taken note.

Since many of the cases dealt by these gentlemen often requires a good level of physical fitness, the local gyms have offered free gym access a hand to hand combat coach to train them. After learning that the brothers use their own cars to take these young women home and simply patrol the more dangerous parts of town, the owners of the local gas stations offered to fill their cars, free of charge.

Many people could assume that these modern knights are doing this to meet ladies. To those comments, Denis replies “There are plenty of opportunities in our country to meet girls without going to all this trouble. And I am married, actually. My wife is the first person I spoke to when I first thought of setting up such an organization in our town.” He explains how all volunteers are discouraged from accepting invitations from the ladies they are helping out, even for something as simple as tea or coffee, as it might give an improper message.

The Brotherhood’s founder believes that most if not all men have a deep-seated urge to be warriors. Some, however, choose to exercise that urge playing video games. "They just sit there in front of a computer, playing at tanks, defending their virtual motherland from virtual enemies. Meanwhile, there are real enemies out there in the street, attacking our girlfriends, our children, our mothers. Why don't these virtual heroes do something about that?"

A Gallant’s Armor

With a suit, even if you're having a nervous breakdown, you still look like you're in charge.

Paul Feig

One of the biggest misconceptions constantly mentioned is the relationship between being a Gentleman and how it relates to a Men’s Suits. Some people are convinced that putting on a suit will turn automatically them into a Gentleman because they are convinced that to be a Gentleman you have to wear a suit. Many people view Men’s Suits as simple items of fashion, or even as a way to impress others. This is mostly because they have yet to understand how you wear a suit properly.

A suit is the modern version of a gallant’s armour; it is a tool of protection and empowerment for the warriors of old. A suit will change how you act, how you behave, and even how you carry yourself. Think of how modern warriors behave when they are in uniform. A man turns into a martial artist as soon as he tightens his belt, his usual discipline, focus, and attitude become even sharper. As soon as a fencer dons his mask, his intent becomes evident, from his eyes to every step he takes. A tailored suit creates the same effect on a man.

While wearing a suit you are aware of how you must project yourself and how you must behave. Yes, it limits somewhat your movement when compared to casual clothing. Yes, dress shoes aren’t made to run in them. But that’s precisely the point. It serves as a way to remind you that you must keep yourself in check. The very restrictions they impose will remind you to control your temper and your actions as you try a more civil way of handling problems. You will become more self-aware of your stance, of how you carry yourself. You tend to stand straighter and your head higher, taking up as much space as possible. Tailored suits are cut specifically to fit best in this posture, a posture conveying a sense of individual having power, a stance that psychologists call an Open Posture.

You might think that this is merely a psychological effect, somewhat of a subjective perception. And there is where it would end up, a person feeling empowered by his perception, if it weren’t for a 2012 study on human nature and postures. Social psychologist, Amy Cuddy found scientific evidence as to how these power poses can directly affect our biological production of hormones. The attitude of how you carry yourself will directly affect your testosterone levels, giving you more confidence, and lowers the stress hormone cortisol, lessening your insecurities.

And here is where a tailored suit accentuates these effects, as they are cut to maximize the Open Posture. Not only will they cause an impression on how you are perceived by others and how you perceive yourself, it will create a biological reaction that boosts your confidence and daring. What would be considered as a simple item of superficial fashion criticized by some actually provides the tools to empower the modern man to face the modern challenges. The power suit takes on an entirely valid connotation when you take these facts into account.