Some say that the age of chivalry is past, that the spirit of romance is dead. The age of chivalry is never past, so long as there is a wrong left unredressed on earth.
And so it happens again, some “guy” who has issues with the word Chivalry goes off on another rant and rampage. Some time ago, I would have wasted my time going toe to toe with him in the verbal ballet of debate, dismantling his argument till he lost it and headed into the realms of insults and personal attacks. By that moment, the obligatory reports to the Social Medias are sent out.
Why am I so arrogantly certain of how this would happen? Because after a while you realize that these guys apparently took the same classes on the same school of thought and have yet to create an independent thought other than the same practiced speech they have prerecorded. And as soon as you force them off their speech, they break. This has happened enough times that I actually made an article about it.
Keep in mind that I have also met some men (notice the difference in wording here, guys vs. men) that have actually established very valid points in favor and against chivalry and gentlemanly behavior. We have actually had rather interesting debates, based on respect for each other’s beliefs. How can I tell which is which, which is the guy and which is the man? The later opens up with respect, and not a base insult. The main complaint that these guys have is the following:
Chivalry and the term Gentleman are a tools of Patriarchy.
The main problem with that phrase is when it is spouted without understanding either of the terms.
During my thesis, one of my mentors told me to avoid topics with LOADED WORDS. People tend to have preconceived ideas about certain topics, and whatever you say or debate will be lost. They already made up their minds about it before you even speak. It’s one of those “I am only responsible for what I say and not what you assume.”
I am not going to go into the details of what Chivalry or being a Gentleman is, just browse the blog. There is more than enough information here about what it is and how it has evolved. I would recommend to visit regularly to keep up to date on the topic. (Yes, it’s called self-promotion. I know.)
But let’s look at the rest of those words that are usually thrown around.
pa·tri·ar·chy: social organization marked by the supremacy of the father in the clan or family, the legal dependence of wives and children, and the reckoning of descent and inheritance in the male line; broadly : control by men of a disproportionately large share of power
mi·sog·y·ny: a hatred of women
fem·i·nism: the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
So, if Chivalry a tool for Patriarchy? Hardly! One of the biggest aspects of Chivalry is to defend against anyone who abuses their power. It’s about standing up for what is right. It’s about being willing to take the brunt of the assault so others don’t have to. It’s not that others are weak, or that others can’t do things for themselves. It’s about being a warrior, willing to fight the good fight.
If anything Chivarly IS an open challenge to Patriarchy
Is it a misogynist attitude? Hate women? Really? Chivalry? Are you even seriously asking this question? And what about Femisism? Just look at the attitude against anyone who abuses power and creates injustice. If anything I am a Feminist because I am a Gentleman and follow the ideals of Chivalry!
So the next time you start throwing words around, it might be a good idea to understand what they mean.