Additional Good

Good actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others.

Plato

We’ve all been there. We wake up with the best intentions and attitude possible. As we head off, our heart and mind are set to make this a good day. And as we head out, it just take one thing to change this all around. What could possibly happen that turned your entire attitude from positive to negative?

Assholes happen.

This is pretty common. We all know just how contagious negativity is. It just takes one person being a jerk to you to turn your entire mindset, turning you into a jerk in the process. Now, instead of the world having to deal with one asshole, it has to deal with two. And as you move on, you end up sucking another person’s positivity, creating yet another asshole, and that one creates another, and so forth.

But did you know that it also works the other way around?

Your day’s not going do great, and then someone simply smiles in your direction. They paid for your morning coffee, to your surprise, or they helped you carry your bags up some stairs, or opened a door, or something as simple as said “Good morning” and hoped that you have a good day. Your entire outlook of the day changed. So as you head out, you do the same, changing another person’s mood for the day. And they do the same forward, and so forth.

We have all heard the phrase “pay it forward” but that involves you paying forward what you’ve received. Why not simply have that positive attitude and take those positive actions without the need of receiving it first? You might not think that something as simple as saying “have a nice day” as you step out of an elevator means much, but it means more than enough to someone who needs it without knowing.

All it takes is one person to stand up, to take action. Others will follow. And as soon as you have a small group, inspired by a single act, the entire crowd will join in. You don’t believe me? Here’s a simple example below.

It just took one man to take action. The next one joined in to help. Then another. Next thing you know, the entire crowd in the place joined in to help. Do you think the crowd would have helped if it wasn’t for that first person? They would have probably stood there, holding their cellphones, recording the entire situation, waiting for the authorities to do something.

If you ever doubted that a single man could change the world, consider how the actions of a single man can inspire another man to act. And now those two men’s actions can inspire others. Suddenly, the acts of one man became the inspiration and lead for an entire movement. Just make sure that those actions are to make good men, not more assholes. We have plenty of those already.

Chivalry: Is it Dead?

Some say that the age of chivalry is past, that the spirit of romance is dead. The age of chivalry is never past, so long as there is a wrong left unredressed on earth.

Charles Kingsley

There is one comment on Chivalry that gets more Social Media time than if it’s sexist, and that is if it’s dead. We hear it from the social justice warriors complaining that Chivalry enforces gender distinctions based on sexism, something we spoke about yesterday. Mostly we hear this countless times every time a guy complain about women and says that chivalry isn’t worth the effort or from women complaining that men are assholes. With so many people openly eulogizing Chivalry, could it be that it’s dead?

Far from it. From what I can tell, Chivalry doesn’t even have a cold.

But then why is it so rare nowadays?  The truth is, it isn’t rare. It just isn’t loud. We see it every day in the simple and small acts that men do that so often goes unnoticed because it’s second nature to them. We see it in the men who do good anonymously to make this world a little better. We see it in the WWII Veteran willing to go to jail for feeding the homeless. We see it in the famous actor who went back to his old job as a first responder during the 911 events. We see it in the young men who made the ultimate sacrifice to save their girlfriends. We see it in an anonymous "Santa" who paid off $50,000 worth of lay-aways for people he doesn’t even know.

And it’s not just in the grand gesture. We see it in simple everyday acts. We see it in another famous actor who offered his seat in the metro. We see it in the man who bought all the roses from a street vender with the condition that she gave them away to everyone she met. We see it in a president who shares his umbrella under the rain. And just this week, we see it in the Quarterback willing to help a lady stay out of the mud.

We have all heard the stories about men doing good, yet these stories are constantly drowned out by social media noise. With a medium dominated by loud groups of self-centered individuals screaming look at how awesome I am and self-righteous individuals screaming look at how awful he is, what chance does chivalry have to be heard?

None, and that’s a good thing. You see, chivalry should never be about looking for the spotlight. It should be about doing what’s right because it’s the right thing to do. And as long as there are good men in the world, good acts will follow.

You Are Worthy Of Being You

Self-worth comes from one thing - thinking that you are worthy.

Wayne Dyer

As I mentioned before, we live in a society that prides itself into forcing everyone into a constant state of “averageness,” as "ordinary" isn’t offensive to anyone. The rich are made to feel ashamed of being rich while the poor are made to feel ashamed of being poor. Women are made to feel ashamed of being women while men are made to feel ashamed of being men. Anyone looking into ways of becoming better is shamed out of their pursuit under the excuse of “you are perfect as you are.”

The reason for this is simple; anything beyond ordinary exposed the insecurities of others want to hide. Those who are successful exposes how average people can achieve more. Those who have fallen on hard times exposed how those who pride themselves on being average are doing nothing to help the less fortunate. It pretty much exposes those who want to wallow in doing little more than exist how there is life beyond the comfort zone.

The danger of this attitude isn’t its ability to prize mediocrity, but in making those who could be more feel ashamed of wanting to be more. Those who work hard for their financial success are made to feel ashamed of being successful, as success is vilified under the image of greed. Those who take care of their appearance are made to feel ashamed of being elegant, as elegance is vilified under the image of vanity. Those who work hard to better themselves are made to feel ashamed of their self-betterment efforts, as these efforts are vilified under the image of arrogance. That is why movements like #NoExcuses are attacked so virulently online, with constant accusations of shaming those who choose to have excuses. The success of some exposes the insecurities of others.

Why should you feel ashamed of your hard work and your effort? Why should you minimize your achievements? We see this every time we diminish what we do for others and for ourselves. I am not talking about pride vs. humility. I am talking about not having to lessen who we are because others can’t confront their own insecurities. I am saying you shouldn’t lower your head just so others don’t feel bad about themselves.

If your success, in whatever endeavor you participate, is the result of your hard work, be proud of it. You help this world more by becoming an inspiration to others who also want to succeed than by comforting those who want to stay comfortable. Be proud of every challenge you overcome, of every status quo you shatter, to every time you become more than you where yesterday. You are worthy of your success. You are worthy of being more.

You are worthy of being you!

The Soulful Gentleman

(Note: This post will deal with spirituality and soulfulness from a creative point of view. I am not going to deal with actual religions or faith, but rather mention the soul as the core of the creative process and beauty as a source of inspiration to the soul. With that clear, let’s start.)

Beauty awakens the soul to act.

Dante Alighieri

We have heard time and time again about the importance of having a balance between the mind and the body. You strengthen your body and educate your mind, pretty simple. Yet some other philosophies add a third element to the equation, the spirit. Yet this is a topic most people would rather avoid to avoid the dangerous waters of a conversation about religion or having your beliefs questioned when considering the aspects of spirituality in a world that prizes “practicality.” Yet, by avoiding this important conversation and by prizing practicality we set ourselves up for an unfulfilling and soulless existence that we simply can’t understand.

We can’t understand it simply because we forgot to learn that beauty is the food for the soul. Men are told to be practical, to the point of almost vulgar. Since our birth, we are told over and over how being inspired, being creative, or simply being in awe of the world we live in is a weakness that must be purged from our body.

Be strong, be tough. Art? That’s for wimps. Delicate beauty? You’re tough and you must only like tough things. Sit down, have a drink and wait till that shit passes.

This makes no sense when you consider how every warrior of old would balance his ability to destroy with his ability to create. He would balance all the horrors he saw in the battle field with all the beauty he found in the world. A samurai would spend hours on end simply searching for the perfect blossom. The knight would spend days searching for the right words to express his emotions in a prose. So at what point was being inspired by greatness an unmanly thing? How this came about, I have yet to figure it out.

Since ancient times, creativity was when man would let his gods speak through him and beauty was his gods speaking to him. Even if you don’t believe in a spiritual being, beauty has the ability to stir even the sternest of men, rattle their emotions and remind them they are alive!

At some moment during our lives we forgot to be alive. We work hard, make money, have a family, have success, yet there is an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and emptiness that eats you from your core. Why do you think the starving artist wouldn’t give up his art for that steady paycheck? Why do you think the misunderstood musician spends so many hours polishing his craft? They might not be able to pay your rent with art, but you can feed your soul with it.

So what do you do? Do you have to pick one or the other? No. That’s why balance is so important. It’s amusing how many older gentlemen pick up art, or develop their music, or start writing, or simply head out to find explore the world after they retire. They realized how their lives were missing a very important aspect, the ability to see beauty.

What can you to avoid having to wait so long? What can you do to fill that gaping hole within yourself? Learn to view beauty and learn to speak beauty. Look at the world and how wondrous it actually is. Be in awe, not only of nature, but of everything. Amaze at the intricacies of an engine just as you would of a blossom. Listen to music and all its levels and harmonies. Learn to look at a person and see how all their imperfections simply add to their beauty. Because beauty is imperfection. It’s those imperfections that make every experience unique.

Here’s the secret. Force to look at what the beauty within the world. Force yourself to write, to paint, to draw, to pick up that guitar you gave up so long ago when you went to work. Force yourself to be inspired, to feel, to express. Dive head first into that pool of unbridled emotions and learn to sail that storm. Dare to be inspired and tell someone they are beautiful. Gentlemen, never give up an opportunity to see beauty and create beauty, as that is your soul talking to you.