Being A Charitableman

Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.

Muhammad Ali

One of the defining aspects of being a man of virtue and character, a true Gentleman, is what you are willing to do to help others. You see it in almost all their everyday actions and manners; be it holding a door for someone to mentoring someone. What not everyone knows is that this is the time of the year when the Gents head out in force to help other men be more; so I thought it appropriate to call out some of the recent and upcoming events that you Caballeros out there might be interested to learn about and participate.

Last Sunday, September 27, was the Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride. For those unaware of the Gentleman’s Ride, this is a yearly even were “more than 37,058 smartly-dressed gentlefolk in 410 cities from 79 countries will straddle the saddles of their café racers, bobbers, scramblers and other marvelous custom motorcycles to raise awareness and help fund the cure for prostate cancer.” They were able to raise about 2.25 million dollars worldwide, but are still accepting donations. If you missed it this year, start planning for next year’s ride.

For something closer to this date and a lot easier to do, MAN MADE has brought up again their Gentleman Up campaign and has determined October 9^th as #FormalFriday. If you use #FormalFriday on Twitter and Instagram that day, MADE MAN will donate $1 to CAREER GEAR in support of the development of men in need. So this Friday, suit and be counted. For those that haven’t heard about the Gentleman Up campaign, I am including last year’s and this year’s promotional videos below.

 

Also, please remember that “the hairiest month of the year is almost here” as next month is Movember. For those unaware what I’m talking about, “The Movember Foundation is a global charity committed to men living happier, healthier, longer lives. Since 2003, millions have joined the men’s health movement, raising $650 million and funding over 1,000 programs focusing on prostate cancer, testicular cancer, poor mental health and physical inactivity.” This is the big daddy of all Men’s Help & Health movements.

It’s important to mention a couple of other charities helping men be more. If you happen to have a suit you’re no longer using, remember that you can donate them to That Suits You if you’re in the New York area or Suited & Booted if you’re in the London area.

Please let me know of any other charity organization helping men and boys become more, so I can add them to future posts. It doesn’t take much to make a difference, but that difference might mean the world to someone else, so please be a charitableman.

The Man Who Doesn't Give Up (Guest Post)

Fellow wordsmith Luke Davis, The Naive Idealist, graced us with yet another wonderful demonstration of what it means to be a Warrior Poet. With that said, I leave you with his latest contribution; The Man Who Doesn’t Give Up.

Have you ever truly met such a man.

A man who doesn't give up.

You can't use a word like stubborn,

He isn't stubborn, he doesn't cling to his ideals

He creates, molds and shapes them until time itself can't break them.

Have you ever truly seen such a man in action.

A man who doesn't give up.

Relentless is not a word you would use.

He isn't relentless, he doesn't have some end point to achieve.

You see life is his journey and he knows it has no end.

Have you ever witnessed such as he.
A man who doesn't give up.
Strength is a concept you can't apply.
He isn't strong, he has been broken many a time before.
But he knows he will be back better than before.

Have you ever heard of such a man.
A man who doesn't give up.
Time has little meaning for such as he.
Time is but a tool in his belt.
A measure of how far he has come and how much yet he can do.

If you were ever to meet such a man.
A man who doesn't give up.
Be warned for he holds creation at his fingertips.
He will wield it over and over again
And the world will forever change before him.

Luke Davis

Constructing A Better ‘Be A Man’

Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.

Albert Einstein

Last month I ran into a rather interesting video in my social media fee. The people at Cut Video asked boys and men, from age 5 to 50, a simple question; what does it mean to them when someone says “Be a Man?” It’s a rather interesting video where you get reactions from every aspect of the spectrum of opinions. Go ahead to the bottom of the post and watch it before we continue. Don’t worry, I’ll wait till you finish.

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Interesting, right? We see all kind of reactions and comments, from the men inspired and elated about the idea of being a man to men disgusted by the social constructs of manhood and the expectations placed upon them by gender stereotypes. After initially watching it, I was left wondering why we have such diametrical reactions to the idea of ‘Be a Man.’ Why are some men’s reaction so positive, while others so negative?

The easy way out to answer that question would be to take my own perspective as the right one and place judgement on each men; condemning or applauding their answer based on my own opinion, using their reaction to justify my own experience. This being a social media site, that would be easy and every like-minded reader would just follow suit and say that I’m right and anyone who disagrees is wrong. Everyone’s happy, we just trolled the bad guys, and we go on with our happy diluted lives.

Life doesn’t quite work like that. Notice that this attitude doesn’t really answer the question of difference of opinion, but rather becomes self-serving and egotistical. The real question is, why is manhood a positive thing to some and a negative thing to others? The answer is quite simple. Those who have a positive attitude about manhood are because they have dealt with positive examples of manhood. Those who have a negative stance on manhood have usually been at the receiving end of a toxic manhood.

All too often we are bombarded with the idea that manhood IS toxic or that phrases like ‘Man Up’ only serve to perpetuate social constructs. I can’t agree with either mentality for several reasons. I have spoken already about why we need to Stop Not Saying ‘Man Up.’ As for the second one, you are right, manhood IS a social construct, but so is any idea you have about social interaction! Do you think that your vision of how you should handle gender, social justice, or simply everyday interaction isn’t a social construct you have made for yourself?

We all build an idea of what manhood is, usually thanks to our own personal experiences. We do this with EVERY SINGLE CONCEPT. Just ask 20 people to define love. You will probably get just as many definitions, all based on each person’s individual experiences and relationship history. Out of those experiences, each person build a definition and expectations of what ‘love’ is. The same thing happens with Manhood.

So what does this mean to each of us? That you have a double role within your obligations as a Man. The first is to create an ideal worth aspiring. Look and learn from men worthwhile. Look at what empowers you about being a man and what makes great men, well, great. Then work towards that goal.

The second? be the kind of man who inspires others to have a positive image of what Men are. We have enough bad examples out there and enough people attacking manhood, as everyone has met an asshole at one time or another in their lives. Prove them wrong. Become the example a young man needs when wondering how a man of character should behave. Become the example a young woman needs when wondering if all men are the same.

It’s simple. Be a Man and Man Up. Just make sure it’s to become the right kind of man.