A Gentleman’s Makeover

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.

―Rumi―

Let’s start straight up. You are not happy with your life, and the path you ended up in. You feel like you have lost yourself, victim to the sways and winds of life. You feel like you’ve let down yourself and those around you. And you need to change, and you need to find yourself.

That has to be the most over-used excuse for procrastination created by man. It can literally be translated into “I plan to sit on my ass till the world changes around me.” It means that you have no intention of taking control over your life, but rather blame everything and everyone for your misery.

Let me start by saying the following, you don’t need to find yourself. Unless you’re on the side of a milk carton, kidnaped by some shady individuals, you know damn well where you are. THAT’S why you want to change. You are right there, standing in front of the mirror.

And that should be your first step. You need to recognize that the guy in the other side of the mirror was the guy that got you into this mess. So the first thing you need to do is change the guy looking back at you. And ironically this is the easiest test as to if you are really interested in changing. If you find it so hard to change who you are in the outside, can you really say you have any intention of changing who you are in the inside?

It’s funny how people want to change and better themselves, yet have such an aversion to an actually perceivable change. They want a change that they can hide from those who don’t want them to change, or a change that will not be judged by those around them. You might think that this is just a superficial aspect, based on pure vanity. But the reality is you will be looking at this new person every day to remind you of the change you are doing. Staying the same, not changing how you look, will simply keep you repeating the same habits and the same routines. Changing how you look will automatically change your habits.

This means you have to do a mayor change. Get a haircut, it can’t be as simple as “a little off the sides.” Grow a mustache or a beard; or shave it off. Do anything and everything with intent, no half measures. You will get people who might say that this change in appearance is not a good fit, or that you looked better before. To those people, ask them if they were happy with the man you were before. This will actually test the waters, and will expose those people who hinder your self-development.

Change is necessary to grow. You need to shed off the man who you were to become the man you will be. Define that man, the man you want to become, and aim to reach him. Start by defining who he is, and how his character is reflected on how he looks. Build him up from the ground up and then use him as your role model. And then aim to become that man.

It all has to start by changing the man looking back at you in the mirror.