Learning To Do Good Things From Bad People.

I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.

Khalil Gibran

There is a social side effect of surrounding yourself with the right people; you end up surrounded with the right kind of people. This isn’t always a good thing. I know that comment makes little sense when taken alone, but I promise I’ll explain in a second.

When we start looking to change, to evolve, like-minded people will gravitate towards you. After a while, you will notice how much your world has changed for the better. And often it changes so much that you might forget why this change was necessary, why you started down this path. You might even start taking for granted all you have grown and how much society has grown, as you become comfortable with where you are.

Then you see some idiot shows you just how messed up the world still is.

It might be something that popped up in the news, some post in your social media, or even some comment made by a random person. At this point you will wonder where the hell this person came from since, within YOUR world, this kind of mentality is so uncommon. That’s the problem… within your world.

As you surround yourself with the right people, you tend to forget that the wrong people are still out there. All too often we assume that our work is mostly done simply because we no longer have a front row seat to the disasters that humans so often are. These people and these events come into our lives to keep us from forgetting the good fight. I am not saying that we should be grateful for these kinds of events, but that we should never forget that they still happen, even if they become fewer within our lives.

So, no matter how well you are doing, still go out into the world to do good. There is plenty of good that still needs to be done. Don’t make your world so small that only those who think like you live there, but keep it large enough to still see those you don’t want to see. And never forget why you started down the path.

Old Dogs Learn New Tricks

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

George Bernard Shaw

Take a moment and think about last year at this same date. Does it feel like a lifetime ago or does it feel like if it was yesterday? Have you changed much or not at all? Has your life? How about 2 years ago? How about 4? If you have kids, do you remember how big they were two years ago and feel like they are so much bigger now than they should be?

Time will pass, no matter what you do. How much do you have to show for it?

I ask these questions because every time I tell someone they should pick up a new hobby, learn a new skill, going back to school, or making a lifestyle change; their immediate reaction is usually “I’m too old to start now” as if we only have a limited amount of years for self-betterment.

I know that as we grow older, we are less likely to deal with becoming a novice again, the notion of realizing just how little we know, how much work we need, and just how much help we require. But that’s the beauty of time, it passes whether you want it to pass or not. How long does it take to learn a new skill? A week? A month? A year? If that time will pass anyway, are you willing to put up with being a beginner for a short period of your life, one that will pass anyway, to become more?

The other typical excuse is just how hectic our lives are. Let’s assume that you would take up a hobby, is your schedule so packed and complicated that you can’t take a couple of hours off a week to go to class? How long is your commute? Instead of listening to random babble on the radio, you could take that time to put on a conversational language lessons. Instead of dozing off in the metro, you could read a book on the topic of your interest. Your day’s full, wake up an hour earlier and practice before your usual chaotic life starts. Instead of cooking any old thing, add in half an hour to the prep time and try out a new recipe. Get on that treadmill or work out while watching TV, or simply turn off the TV for a bit. The reality is that forcing yourself to take a break for a couple of hours a week from your usual rat-race will actually help you perform better in your daily routine.

Instead of thinking about the time it will take, which often seems daunting, consider how long it took. Waiting a week often seems like a long wait, yet last week doesn’t seem that far off. Start considering time in the past sense instead of the future sense. Just think how far into that exercise regimen you would be if you started last Monday instead of waiting till next Monday. Consider how skilled you would already be if you registered for that class last semester instead of putting it off till the next one.

The reality is that you are never too old to learn or too busy to take time for yourself. It’s all about priorities. If your priority is to feel old, then yes, you are too old to learn. If your priority is to feel busy, then yes, you are too busy. But if your priority is to grow as a man, then neither age nor time will never be a barrier.

The Soulful Gentleman

(Note: This post will deal with spirituality and soulfulness from a creative point of view. I am not going to deal with actual religions or faith, but rather mention the soul as the core of the creative process and beauty as a source of inspiration to the soul. With that clear, let’s start.)

Beauty awakens the soul to act.

Dante Alighieri

We have heard time and time again about the importance of having a balance between the mind and the body. You strengthen your body and educate your mind, pretty simple. Yet some other philosophies add a third element to the equation, the spirit. Yet this is a topic most people would rather avoid to avoid the dangerous waters of a conversation about religion or having your beliefs questioned when considering the aspects of spirituality in a world that prizes “practicality.” Yet, by avoiding this important conversation and by prizing practicality we set ourselves up for an unfulfilling and soulless existence that we simply can’t understand.

We can’t understand it simply because we forgot to learn that beauty is the food for the soul. Men are told to be practical, to the point of almost vulgar. Since our birth, we are told over and over how being inspired, being creative, or simply being in awe of the world we live in is a weakness that must be purged from our body.

Be strong, be tough. Art? That’s for wimps. Delicate beauty? You’re tough and you must only like tough things. Sit down, have a drink and wait till that shit passes.

This makes no sense when you consider how every warrior of old would balance his ability to destroy with his ability to create. He would balance all the horrors he saw in the battle field with all the beauty he found in the world. A samurai would spend hours on end simply searching for the perfect blossom. The knight would spend days searching for the right words to express his emotions in a prose. So at what point was being inspired by greatness an unmanly thing? How this came about, I have yet to figure it out.

Since ancient times, creativity was when man would let his gods speak through him and beauty was his gods speaking to him. Even if you don’t believe in a spiritual being, beauty has the ability to stir even the sternest of men, rattle their emotions and remind them they are alive!

At some moment during our lives we forgot to be alive. We work hard, make money, have a family, have success, yet there is an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and emptiness that eats you from your core. Why do you think the starving artist wouldn’t give up his art for that steady paycheck? Why do you think the misunderstood musician spends so many hours polishing his craft? They might not be able to pay your rent with art, but you can feed your soul with it.

So what do you do? Do you have to pick one or the other? No. That’s why balance is so important. It’s amusing how many older gentlemen pick up art, or develop their music, or start writing, or simply head out to find explore the world after they retire. They realized how their lives were missing a very important aspect, the ability to see beauty.

What can you to avoid having to wait so long? What can you do to fill that gaping hole within yourself? Learn to view beauty and learn to speak beauty. Look at the world and how wondrous it actually is. Be in awe, not only of nature, but of everything. Amaze at the intricacies of an engine just as you would of a blossom. Listen to music and all its levels and harmonies. Learn to look at a person and see how all their imperfections simply add to their beauty. Because beauty is imperfection. It’s those imperfections that make every experience unique.

Here’s the secret. Force to look at what the beauty within the world. Force yourself to write, to paint, to draw, to pick up that guitar you gave up so long ago when you went to work. Force yourself to be inspired, to feel, to express. Dive head first into that pool of unbridled emotions and learn to sail that storm. Dare to be inspired and tell someone they are beautiful. Gentlemen, never give up an opportunity to see beauty and create beauty, as that is your soul talking to you.

 

“The True Art” in Living.

The solution to doubt is the invincibility of truth

Don Jerónimo Sánchez de Carranza

Anyone who has studied the combat arts will realize how the very lessons learned in the training hall start seeping into their everyday life. This is especially true to those artists that extended their educating into the philosophies behind their chosen art. I remember a close friend who walked around with a small copy of Sun Tzu’s Art of War in his pocket. I found nothing strange about that as I carried a copy of Miyamoto Musashi’s Book of the Five Rings in my own bag.

It didn’t surprise anyone who knew him when the man who carried the Art of War is now a successful politician.

If you read my previous post “What I learned from a 400 year old book on how to kill a man,” you might have realized I have a soft spot for the classical Spanish Fencing School of “The True Art” (La Verdadera Destreza). Interestingly enough, Miyamoto Musashi and Jerónimo Sánchez, founder of The True Art, were not only contemporaries but both schools of fencing have very similar concepts in their core. Add on the fact that Spain had several cultural ambassadors and merchants in Japan during that time is enough to fuel any historical conspiracist’s wet dreams. But I digress.

As I mentioned, Destreza, and most old combat arts, were not just a combat system, but a way of life, a path. But how do you apply a killing art to civilized living? Let’s look at just a few of the principals promoted within this particular art. 

Self-Control and Self-Discipline are paramount.

Destreza emphasizes on a man’s ability to use reason to suppress any base impulse. That included anger. In reality it actually emphasized suppressing those impulses created by anger. It wasn’t that you shouldn’t be angry, but rather that anger should never let anger control you. A man, like a sword, loses all his worth when they lose their temper. 

Make yourself Present, but not a Target.

Be proud and let the world know where you stand, just be careful that you don’t become arrogant enough that someone will try to take you down. The Diestro’s stance was basically standing straight with his sword straight out. This let any opponent know that to reach the Diestro; they would have to risk his sword first. 

It’s all about creating what opportunities are available.

One of the biggest misconceptions of the Spanish Circle is how the Fencer would stand stationary and only moved within his own circle. This is absolutely false. The Diestro would move around, looking to place himself at an advantage or place his opponent at a disadvantage simply by where he stands. Positioning is crucial in life, more so than the actual attack or defense. Create your own opportunities and control the opportunities that others have simply by where you stand, both physically or socially.