9/4/15

Flipping The Dating Script



Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.
Scott Adams
There’s nothing as informally structured, anxiety inducing, and unnecessarily complicated within our society as dating. You would think that with the amount of people in the planet and our overtly connected society we have developed our ability to interact with the intention of sharing a life experience would be something we have down pat. What makes it even more interesting is the subjective perspective we have within the entire courtship drama that is life, as men and women assume that their gender got the short end of the dating stick.

Men assume that women are at an advantageous position when it comes to dating, where the social norms places women at an obvious advantage from their perspective. And they might be right. Men have to openly admit their interest in a Lady by making their first move. They have to pick an activity and a location they think the woman would want to do. They have to amuse, entertain, and romance her; risking rejection at every step of the way, as the entire evening becomes little more than a performance for just one judge, one single person who holds all the power… the woman sitting across the dinner table.

And they say that working for Chef Ramsay is stressful.

A man’s perspective about dating is great and all till you sit down and ask a woman her point of view, as they can clearly explain why men have the advantageous position when it comes to dating. And they might be right as well. The man can go up to a woman to ask her out, leaving the woman in a position of having to wait till he decides that he wants to. He picks the place and the time. He plans it out. And the woman is left in a passive position as the only active participation socially accepted is held by the man. If traditional dating rules are to be followed, the best they can do to during the entire situation, and even to initiate it, is to send out hints of interest and approval.

And we know just how well people in general pick up on hints.

But what if we could change this whole messy and complicated affair? What if we could hand women the power of assertiveness they complain that they don’t have within the courtship ritual? What if we could ask men not to be so controlling, allowing themselves the ability to enjoy the ride and let go of the reigns?

Guess that you can!!! Some mad genius has called out the social bullshit that men and women complain about dating by promoting for a second year in a row September as “Take a Man on a Date” month!

And I say that he is calling out the social bullshit about dating because as much as men might complain that women are on the judging table in the dating equation, nothing is as challenging to a man as taking a passive participation in anything in life. And women might complain about men having the power within the dating scene, yet very few have confronted the terrifying scenarios of possible rejections, and its accompanying self-doubt and social shaming, that come from asking someone out.

That’s the beauty of modernity… modern women are confident enough to just walk up to whoever they are interested in, and be able to ask them out! That should be a simple side effect of being a confident woman. Who cares what people think? The wonderful thing is that for this month, you can blame it on it being September.

And Gentlemen…  Modern men should be confident enough not to be intimidated by strong assertive women! Be honored and flattered is a lady comes up to ask you out. You probably are able to relate to every single thought she must have gone through before walking up to you. Don’t fall back into a judgmental or arrogant mindset, as you should be able to empathize.

And Empathy should be the most important lesson within this month. Men and women are given an opportunity to step into each others shoes (and depending on how the date does, into much more) on what each other goes through in the dating scene. React as you wish the other gender would react to you. Who knows, this might be a great opportunity for people to start treating dating as something fun.