1/12/15

Need Not Be A Straight Man To Be A Straight Up Gentleman



A gentleman is defined by how he loves, not by who he loves.
Being Caballero
A few weeks ago, I had a couple I have known for years over for dinner. During the usual conversation, one of them brought up a simple question, “What’s your biggest pet peeve when dealing with people’s opinion about gentlemen.” For me the answer was obvious, especially when considering my dinner guests. “The idea that a gentleman is a gentleman just to impress women.” The reason I say ‘considering my dinner guests’ is because this couple in particular are two of the most distinguished gentlemen I have met in my life as well as one of the most stable couples I have met in my life.

And that’s when I realized this is a topic I have covered only slightly as most of my writing is based on my own perspective as a straight man. The reality is I found that I should be a lot more inclusive in my own articles as what defines a gentleman is in no way defined by his sexual orientation, but rather by his actions as a man.

Chivalry and elegance has nothing to do with WHO you love, but rather HOW you love. I have met plenty of straight men who are far from gentlemen, and plenty of gay and bi men, and even some women, who are excellent examples of an elegant masculinity. So the next time you consider that a gentleman acts as he does to impress women, reconsider and reevaluate your own preconception of the word gentleman.