Since they invented excuses,
everyone does OK.
Latino
Proverb
"I like myself and I am fine with
myself… so F@ck you for making me look bad!"
That was basically the sentiment
most of the smart kids had to deal with while in high school and college. When
a professor gave a test where almost everyone failed, the kids would go on
rants looking for excuses as to why they didn’t do well, the main one being
that the professor wants to fail them all. To avoid a mob of angry parents and
faculty members, the professor would try to modify the grading curve to adjust
for the lower grades. That worked only when there wasn’t a Curve Breaker (a
literal translation of the term ‘rompe curva’
in Spanish). This was that one or two students who did exceptionally well in
the test. Their success would make null any attempts to change the grading
requirements.
To those with lower grades would
complain that competing with the smart kids was unfair, as these kids were so
smart they didn’t need to study. What they failed to realize is that the ‘smart
kids’ would commit endless hours to studying and reviewing the class material.
Since making excuses and threatening others into the mediocrity of the group level was a lot easier than studying, you can guess what the action
taken was.
But now we are all grown up, and
mature, and capable of a level of accountability and self-responsibility that
was lacking during our school days, so this has stopped.
Yeah…
The reality of today’s society is
that this same attitude has been expanded to everything and everyone. We see
this as people openly attack and shame anyone who puts in an exceptional effort
into ANYTHING. From going after the fitness pro for looking too ‘fit’, or the
model for being too attractive, or entrepreneur for being too successful, or simply the coworker doing a better job than us;
society will attack the exceptional without even considering the exceptional
effort the person does. They will then justify themselves with a list of
excuses, starting with “I’m fine with myself.” If you are so ‘fine’ with
yourself, why does anyone who is ‘better’ make you so insecure about yourself?
And the society of excuses has permeated
into everything we do. When people fail us, they don’t apologize, but rather
try to excuse their actions. “Nobody’s perfect” or “I was too busy.” We have
removed any and all responsibility for ourselves with the general attitude of “you
have to like me the way I am or something is wrong with you. YOU are the
problem.” By shaming the other person you, not only excuse yourself from taking
any responsibility for yourself, but also try to drag the other person to your
own level of mediocrity and conformism.
You are not into fitness and don’t
want chiseled abs? Fine, and that’s ok. Just don’t put down those who go to the
gym while you head out to the ‘all-you-can-eat-buffet.’ You’re not really into
studying, happy with just a passing grade? Then don’t try to put down those who
pull in all-nighters, every night, to get good grades.
Instead of shaming these people,
learn from them. I am not saying that everyone should have the body of a Greek
statue, but they probably know more about fitness than you. You might not be as
good at math as they are, ask them to help you out and tutor you. Their
exceptional efforts are usually accompanied with a constant search for what
works best. Ask them to help you to be better.
The other side of excuses is not
only not wanting to be better but to actually justifying being worse, as you
refuse to recognize when you hurt anyone. If you make a mistake, or hurt
someone, or fail to keep a promise; don’t excuse yourself. Take some responsibility
for your actions and apologize. Make it up to the person, fix the problem. Stop
try to dismiss it with empty excuses.
We can DO better than that, and we
sure as hell can BE better than that. And that starts with understanding that
excuses are just that, excuses. Your friends don’t need them and your enemies
don’t care for them.
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