Don't mistake my kindness for
weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not
what you are going to remember about me.
Al
Capone
If you have spent any time looking over any
social media site, you must have come across the tale of the two wolves. If you
haven’t, let me give you the cliff notes edition. It tells that within every
man there exist two wolves. One wolf is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed,
arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride,
superiority, and ego. The other wolf is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity,
humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and
faith. The moral is that you become the Wolf you feed. And I would agree with
the story and it’s emotionally touching moral; except I don’t.
This is a story about the importance of
restraint. And I am the first to state the importance of learning to have self-control
and restraint. The problem with the story and with most comments out there
about restraint is denying the violent side that is part of our nature by
starving it. They seem to forget that if you starve a wolf, he becomes
dangerously desperate.
We can’t kill off this side of our nature.
Anger, hatred, regret, and resentment might seem like negative emotions that
should be stamped out as we civilize ourselves. But we can’t, not if we accept
our role as warriors. When properly channeled and controlled, these emotions
push us to be more than we thought we could be. They give us the courage to fight a battle we
know is already lost, to get back up after we have been knocked down, to stand
up to meet a challenge when it would be easier to just sit down. When everyone
says that something can’t be done, that something is impossible, it’s these “negative”
emotions that let you stand up proud and spout the greatest challenge you can
offer the world:
Just watch me.
The problem is placing a bridle over your
beast. It’s too easy to fall sway into to the emotions, to fight battles just
to prove you can. In these cases, your ego will guide your fist. And that is
where you have lost your battle, no matter the outcome. So you must find an
outlet for this beast, a release valve. Because life will feed this wolf for
you, with every frustration, ever argument, every traffic jam, every idiot holding
up a line when you are rushed and every self-centered simpleton you will have
to deal with. The wolf will grow and start eating at your soul. So give it an
outlet.
Keep in mind that this is not a “Guy Thing.”
Women have to deal with their own Beast, as this part of human nature has
nothing to do with gender.
Pick up a physically and mentally demanding
hobby, something you can cut loose on. Be it fighting, painting, writing, dancing,
or whatever you want. The important aspect when making this choice is that it
must be something that requires some level of control. This hobby will work two
fold. First, it will give the beast an outlet, keeping it from growing too
much. Second, and even more important, it will teach you to call upon your
beast when you need him, and be able to keep him under control.
Gandhi said it best when he said “It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover
impotence.” And in this life, you will need to call upon
your wolf just to survive.
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