3/21/14

Redefining the Contract between Ladies and Gentlemen.




The best thing about writing online is how accessible everyone is, including yourself. This opens up the opportunity for me to discuss my topic of choice with people beyond my own social circle. Why do I find this so important? Because individuals tend to surround themselves with like-minded people, it’s really easy to think that everyone else thinks the same way or everyone has the same common knowledge. So getting input from outside your group is critical.

Yesterday I got tagged on a comment that I found rather interesting. I won’t go into the details of the conversation, but it boiled down to a man wondering why men had to be Gentlemen if women weren’t willing to be Ladies. My first clarification to this was what I always say; you are not a gentleman to impress women, but to be a better man. He understood my comment but his was rather interesting; “what about the social contract”?

For those who never dealt with really old-school traditions, there is a concept called the “Contract between Gentlemen and Ladies.” For those that have never heard of the contract before, it’s basically the idea that a Gentleman exists because there are Ladies, and vise versa. It goes further into the idea that you don’t have to be either a Gentleman or a Lady to those that don’t behave appropriately.

So it boils down to men complaining that they can’t find Ladies, so they aren’t willing to be Gentlemen, and women complaining that they can’t find Gentlemen, so they aren’t willing to be Ladies. Unless we break this concept, we are stuck in a horrible cycle of social mediocrity, with the only winner being Reality TV.

Before you continue in this frustrating spiral, let me make the following clear.
  1.  Don’t become a Lady or a Gentleman just to please someone else. Become a Gentleman or a Lady for our own personal development.
  2. Ladies and Gentlemen are not that hard to find. The problem finding them is that neither is loud and boisterous, as their crass counterpart.
  3. If you don’t surround yourself with the appropriate people, don’t be surprised if you keep meeting inappropriate one. 

So instead of worrying why you can’t find a Lady or a Gentleman, ask yourself how is you are one and what kind of people do you surround yourself with.