Of Modern Warriors

I do what I do because it is the right thing to do. I am a warrior, and it is the way of the warrior to fight superior odds.

Paul Watson

If you've been reading my posts for a while, you have noticed my constant references to having a warrior's mindset towards life. You might think this is a rather romantic way of looking at life, considering that professional soldiers have replaced the warrior class of the past generations. You might even think this mentality in some way glorifies a violent tradition and celebrates wars. Because there are people who think this way is precisely why we must never lose the warrior culture.

There is a distinct difference between a soldier and a warrior. Soldiers, with all the respect that they deserve, are employees. Their actions are determined by the chain of command and their direction is defined by their orders.  Warriors are "self developed." Their actions are determined by their dedication to a greater good and their direction is defined by their ideals. There are certainly plenty soldiers who are warriors, but not all are. There are also certainly plenty warriors who aren't soldiers, but not enough.

But what defines a warrior? His ability to fight? No...Anyone can be taught to fight if they're willing to learn. Warrior is something you become, not something you learn. It comes from accepting that you must become comfortable with being uncomfortable to make a difference. It's knowing that how you make a difference matters as much as the goal. And it all starts with 3 simple concepts so ingrained into their heart that they might just be fire branded on to their soul. It's about having a purpose, having honor, and having courage.

A warrior has a purpose, as he serves with determination because it's the right thing to do. It could be to a moral, ideological, or even a personal cause, but whatever it is, it serves as a source of strength to them when they have to push past their own limits. And limits are what make warriors so powerful. Limits define how far someone can go. To a warrior, limits are nothing more than the starting gate to test his determination. Anything that happened before is simply a warm up.

Honor, so often dismissed by those who don't understand it's importance or are unwilling to be honorable, is the understanding that how you do something is as important as what you are doing. It's about being honest to a fault, about being decent and straight forward. It's a willingness to admit your intentions, something rare in a world where we justify trickery and misdirection as acceptable actions when done to our convenience. It's about openly drawing a sword when others will hide a dagger. It's about being accountable for your actions when others look for excuses.

And lastly, he is courageous, not because he's fearless, but because of his acceptance to a life of self-sacrifice. In a world that constantly promotes the ideals of selfishness and self-preservation, the warrior is defined by his willingness to help others, regardless of personal risk or loss. He's comfortable with the fact that a life worth living requires self sacrifice, even if that sacrifice is his own life. It's not that he cares little for his own safety, but rather that he cares more for the safety of those around him.

In a world of scavengers trying to feed of the weak and sheep unable to defend themselves, warriors aren't just needed...they are crucial to our existence. They hold at bay the threats that others don't see or refuse to acknowledge. They are the ones who, not only see how precious life is, but are also willing to fight for it.

So, to my fellow warriors, my brothers, keep your swords sharp, your sword arm strong, and your head high. For we might be few but, when it really matters, we are more than enough.

The All Too Common Hypocrisy Of Modern Social Justice

Among those who dislike oppression are many who like to oppress.

Napoleon Bonaparte

Those who have been following me for a while or know me personally know how involved and passionate I am about social justice, equality, and empowerment. Even when I started writing online articles, they focused on discussing some of our social ills. This is the very least anyone should do. Yet, if you look as of late, my contributions as a SJW (Social Justice Warrior) have drastically lessened.

The reasons aren’t that I no longer believe in social justice or I no longer believe that what’s wrong within society shouldn’t be called out. The reason is that the current Social Justice trend of online warriors, in their crusade to condemn what’s ‘bad,’ have become just as oppressive as those they fight, and just as blind to the damage they cause.

As we fight sexism, racism, homophobia, religious intolerance, bigotry, or just simply prejudice, there are way too many who do so by being sexist, racist, homophobic, intolerant, and plain old fashion bigots. If this is a minority, as is stated over and over within the SWJ groups, wouldn’t be a problem. The problem is that it ISN’T a minority as people cheer on such actions, showing how their true intentions aren’t social justice, but rather power hunger or vengeance.

While fighting oppression, they get drunk on the power of oppressing.

We see this as we excuse inexcusable actions, simply because they are done under the flag of what’s right. We rationalize such abuse constantly. The best explanation I have heard to date explaining how this mental Kung Fu is done was given by a fellow blogger within a writer’s group as he was calling out this behavior in a post.

You are THIS and if you get mad, it proves my point. And because you're emotionally compromised because you're THIS, you don't have a say. You're the problem and someone else will be the solution, so shut up, sit down, and wait for it.

ZachRosenberg

We speak of having freedom of expression by openly shaming anyone who has an opinion different from ours. Body shaming if fought by calling models “skinny bitches” or defend the right of women not to use makeup by attacking any woman who uses makeup. Gender discrimination and sexism against women because they are women is fought by making sexist and gender specific attacks against men because they are men. Racial and ethnic discrimination against minorities if fought by making racist remarks against the majority. Even religious intolerance if fought by being intolerant with any faith (or lack of faith) different from our own. We stopped using our ideals as a means for empowerment. Instead we turned them into weapon to excuse attacking the ideals of others.

This type of debate doesn't offer conversation nor has the intention of finding a solution. It’s a way to oppress while feeling good about yourself as an oppressor, as other like-minded SJW will applaud you for it. It’s a way to be a bigot without the fear of backlash. If anyone dares to call you out on it, you are then given the entire backup needed to unleash your “righteous fury” against said person.

I should know as I have been on the receiving end of this equation enough times to realize that I no longer want to be a part of this kind of social justice. Just because you assume you’re right, doesn’t excuse you when you do wrong.

If you are unsure if your actions and comments are wrong, here’s a simple mental exercise. Before posting up that righteous attack, replace the people you are attacking with the group you are defending. If you would consider that comment hate speech, it probably is. Before posting that defense of your group, replace it with the group you fight against. Are you giving them special privileges over the rest of society? If so, then you probably are doing that for your own group.

Social justice shouldn’t be about everyone being equally discriminated or oppressed. It should be about everyone being equally empowered. It should be about using our diversity as a way to expand our ideals and our understanding.  Instead of focusing on how to knock someone down to the lowest position as a solution, we should on how to raise everyone up to the highest denominator. Instead of calling out privilege as a bad thing, we should view privilege as what should be fair for everyone, and work in that direction. And above all, we really need to stop expecting equality to happen because we are all the same, but expect it because being different is no reason for inequality.

Do We Really Let Men Be Better?

I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinions of himself than on the opinions of others.

Marcus Aurelius

For the longest time since I began Being Caballero, I was confused over who my main audience was. When I looked at Facebook’s media matrix, I just couldn’t understand how my largest audience was men between 25-45, yet they were the ones who least “engaged” with my posts. I saw how “Dating Advice” or “Business Empowerment” sites had better movement among my main audience. I actually considered redefining out target mission because of it, especially since a few of these sites had approached me a couple of time. That’s till I received a message from “Andrew from New York.”

Mr Caballero, As a 30 year old newlywed I often find myself thinking about the kind of person, the kind of man I would like to be for my wife and future family. I just want to tell you how much I appreciate your thought-provoking writings about character and all your shared nuggets of wisdom. Your content is in its own class, and so refreshing in a sea of click-bait noise and "list" articles that do nothing for the soul. Please continue to do what you do and know that you are making a tremendous impact. Thank you, Andrew

Before you all think I post these kind of private messages as a habit, I actually asked his permission beforehand. We get those every once in a while, usually keeping them private. Yet this one was different, since as I wrote my response to his message I came to an epiphany. It’s not that men don’t want to become better; it’s that we have told them that wanting to just be better is wrong and something to hide.

All these “Dating Training” or “Business Empowerment” sites and workshops provide men with an excuse to be better, as they offer an endgame mentality. Train with them, you’ll get more women or follow their system and you’ll make more money. Both of these pursuits (women and money) are actually more acceptable within our society than wanting to be a better man. Ironically, neither money nor casual relationships are a true measure of the kind of man you are. We, as a society, have made men think that wanting to be better is an admission of weakness, that there is something wrong that you need to fix.   

Let’s do a mental exercise so I can better illustrate what I mean.

Let’s take a good look at “John” and what we have taught him about being a man. John love poetry but is afraid to let his friends know about it, as they will probably ridicule him. He will hide his online history from everyone, not because he is searching porn, but because he doesn’t want anyone finding out his reading list. He posts online using a pseudonym to avoid anyone knowing about his talent. He will sneak into composition and literature classes yet will hide in the back of the classroom to avoid anyone noticing, specially the teacher. He will go to poetry readings, yet will hide out in the dark corner of the club. When his friends find out about his interests, he will excuse it as he “learned it to pick up chicks.” This excuse will actually get him the approval of his friends.

Why does John go through all this trouble to hide his passion? Because he’s afraid that that his friends will consider his interests in poetry as something that lessens his masculinity. He's afraid that women will think of him as weak for having a genuine interest developing his art. He's afraid of seeming as a man with no real interests in his financial future as art is dismissed as a flight of fancy.

We need to let men know that there is nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself with no endgame in mind. We need to let men know that there is no shame in having a passion and that wanting to be better doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you to begin with. We need to let men know that self-betterment isn’t something you do when your young and we actually need to teach our young men that they can always be better. Because the truth is, no matter how good you are, you can always be better.