Loneliness is the poverty of self;
solitude is the richness of self.
May Sarton
So, you want to be in a relationship, yet can’t
seem to find the right person. Or you are in a relationship already and wonder
why you can’t find happiness with the person you are with. The answer to both
situations is the same; you haven’t made yourself a priority, you aren’t happy
with yourself. If you can’t be happy with yourself, you can’t be happy with
anyone, and nobody will be happy with you.
Unfortunately we live in a society that emphasizes
the need to be with someone, anyone, as a defining feature. This is so critical
that being alone is shames and viewed as a sign that something is wrong.
You know what? Way too many people desperately look
to be in a relationship, if for nothing else, to have someone to blame about
their lives. THAT’S WRONG. You first need to love yourself and be content with
yourself. Only then can you properly offer who you are to anyone. Relationships
shouldn’t be about completing or worst yet competing. It should be about
complementing.
And if you need the other person to complete
you, or to support you because you can’t do it alone, you don’t become a
partner, you become an anchor. If you can’t bring yourself happiness, how can
you expect to make anyone happy? That’s the paradox, to be with anyone, you
have to learn to be alone first. You can’t make anyone happy if you can’t make yourself
happy first.
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