Generosity is giving more than
you can, and pride is taking less than you need.
Khalil
Gibran
Gentlemen, today I want to talk to
you about a very serious topic. I know you are good men at heart. You are
self-sacrificing and always go that extra mile to help others. You try your
best to lend that helping hand those in need require so they don’t go under.
You are that smile that brightens someone’s day, that shoulder to cry on, that
support someone needs when their world is crashing down, and that shield standing
between yours and the slings and arrows of a horrible world. And this is
something to be proud of, being that warrior who stands strong so others don’t have
to.
That’s exactly where the danger lies
for most Gentlemen.
Too often we define our lives on how
strong we are; defining ourselves by our role as a protector to those around us.
And this is a noble endeavor. But all too often, some of us are left with little
meaning to our lives, as our role in service to others is no longer needed, or when
we they can’t carry this burden any longer because we are no longer capable to do
so physically or mentally. In other cases, it’s just that we have carried the
burden for too long and it’s weight has broken our backs.
For those readers unaware, the suicide rate among men
is about 4 times higher than among women, where the largest group isn’t the
angst ridden teen, but rather men between 45 to 64 years old. After cancer and
heart disease, suicide accounts for as the top cause of death for men, and in
some, and in some countries like Australia and the UK, has actually surpassed
them. Right now suicide, not war,
is the principal cause of death among our military members.
But why bring this up when speaking
of Chivalry and Gentlemanly acts? Haven’t most gentlemen proven their temper
and tolerance time and time again in life? Haven’t they stood up against the
worst of life and come out victorious? The true sign of a gentleman is not about
showing off his victories, but overcoming battles that nobody will ever find
out about. And as noble as this ideal is, it comes at a price.
What about those hidden battles we
lose? What do we do when the warrior we were is no longer needed? What do we do
when we can no longer stand as a barrier against the world for physically or
mentally reasons? What then? We have taken pride in standing against the Abyss,
but what do we do when WE are the ones in danger of falling in? Having courage
to fight the evils outside is based on being strong, but to facing the evils
inside is based on being able to admit, specially to yourself, that you can be
weak.
That isn’t easy.
Gentlemen, there is no shame is
asking for help, in acknowledging when you’ve reached your breaking point. Sometimes
you just need someone to throw you a rope, so you can pull yourself up to
shore. Other times you might need someone to actually help you out of the water
before you drown. And there is no shame in either, as it might be your turn to
need saving. When you are able to accept this, you can move on to other roles
of life, able to redefine yourself, and, more importantly, able to save
yourself.
PS.
If you need to find someone to throw
you a life line, the following are numbers you can call in complete
confidentiality to help you out.
1 (800) 273-8255
Samaritans
(UK)
08457 90 90 90 *
Lifeline
(Australia)
13 11 14
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