(I originally posted this article
in Good Men
Project back in June 20, 2014 after the Isla Vista killings. 4 years later and NOTHING
has changed.)
Helen: Everyone’s special, Dash.
Dash:
[muttering] Which is another way of saying no one is.
The Incredibles (2004)
As we horribly wait for
the next school shooting, which should happen in a couple of weeks if the
prevalent pattern continues, we desperately try to find answers and solutions.
We try to empathize with the killers, if for no other reason, out of guilt for failing
these young men. You would think with the 74 school shootings within the last
18 months, we would have a clear profile by now. Yet, to date, the FBI’s
attempts to profile school shooters haven’t found a determinative set of
specific traits they consider good predictors. These were ordinary men and boys
who chose out of the ordinary actions to express themselves… And there lies the
profile, “Ordinary Young Men.”
We quickly make
assumptions about the shooter being a misunderstood social outcast, victim of
bullying with untreated mental illnesses and abusive parents. The reality is
quite different. Many school shooters were honor roll students from “good”
communities and affluent two-parent homes, and many didn’t have serious
problems at school. They had friends, participated in extracurricular
activities, and lead “normal” lives. But after the fact, many left journals and
manifestos explaining how they felt wronged, how life was unfair, and how they
were pushed to do what they did.
And we begin to feel
sorry for them and our guilt kicks in. Did we really ignore the suffering of
these young men? Did we bully them into retribution? Did we ignore all the
signs of mental illness evident to cause these disasters? Is our society really
this messed up?
And then, one interesting
bit of information pops up. FBI studies show that school shooters tended to
feel an exaggerated sense of entitlement, and that they reacted negatively when
they were not treated the way they felt they were entitled to be treated. This
sense of entitlement usually promotes an expressed intolerant attitude toward
racial, ethnic, or religious minorities, as well as towards women and the LGBT
community; all groups they view as being given unfair “special treatment.” This
results in a sense of “aggrieved entitlement”, and as they view themselves as
someone who “should be” at the top of the social order, this heightens their
sense of being mistreated. When we take this into account, we begin to realize
true magnitude of the problem.
As we think of criminal
violence, we have the idea of the chaotic city, where random shootings done by
“bad guys” carrying illegal guns happen every day. This fear has led to a rise
of the “safer” homogenous community. What they have failed to realize is this
kind of community is exactly where active shooter situations happen. Almost all
school shootings happen in suburban and rural districts with multiple
seemingly random or unspecific targets. The vast majority of these events were
committed with guns purchased legally. Most of the killings were committed with
semi-automatic hand guns or assault rifles.
But as psychologists try
to create a profile of mass shooters,
they are hit with the problem of “ordinariness.” As we try to create a
relationship between mental health and active shooters; the reality is that most
people with mental illness are not violent.
Many mass shootings are
motivated by revenge or envy. That’s why many take place at a school or a
workplace where shooters felt rejected. But again, to what degree is this feel a
result of an exaggerated sense of entitlement, and to what degree is it actual
rejection? These killers often exhibit risk factors that are generally tied to
criminality: a history of abusive behavior, a tendency to hurt animals, a
sadistic streak, self-centeredness, and a lack of compassion.
They plan out their
actions and research their intended target area. In around 80% of school shootings
at least one person had information that the attacker was thinking about or
planning the school attack. In nearly 2/3, more than one person had information
about the attack before it occurred. But how can this happen right under our
noses without anyone noticing? We DO notice, but we choose to look the other
way. And that’s where we have failed as a society.
The shooter may have
journals; videos which they may send out to media outlets just before the
attack or leave them accessible to the police. They may play off the notoriety
of such events, fantasying about the infamy they will receive. At its core,
these shootings are nothing more than an extreme demonstration of Trolling, an
exhibition of egotistical narcissism to challenge the ordinary lives they lead.
We tell our kids every
day just how special they are, and how proud we are of them no matter what. We
love to brag as to how we feed their need to feel accepted, loved, and cared
for, even if we don’t actually do it. We will fight any teacher who says they
aren’t good enough or insult any coach who doesn’t take them into the team. We
will sweep under the rug any problems they got into because that’s what a
parent does. We will stand and fight for them, no matter what, because it’s our
kid, and they are special and unique and the best kid around. Just like every
other kid in their neighborhood.
Some embrace this
sameness, others are eaten by it.
And we see the results of
this attitude expressed all over society. From this perspective, we can realize
how Elliot Rodger’s actions were a result of this aggrieved entitlement, and
not just his hatred towards women. We can understand where a comment like “being
sexually assaulted is a coveted status” comes from and the need to walk
around with a fully loaded high powered rifle to go and pick up a box of Oreos.
They create a disconnect with reality, where the only thing that matters is
being the center of attention. They openly want the position of martyr, because
at least as a martyr they are somebody. With all the media coverage, a school
shooting is the ultimate demonstration of this attitude.
There is a way we can fix
this situation and it’s creating a mentality of empathy, but not in the way you
think. It’s not about being empathic with the boys, but about teaching them
empathy. We need to fight the current society of self-centered narcissistic
trolls that promotes this current trend of notoriety hunting. We need to stop
worrying about the world we are leaving our children and start focusing what
kind of children we are leaving the world.
