Fighting Against A Not So Brave New World

You might want to target a girls school which is safer because there are no beta males throwing themselves for their rescue.

Anonymous

See the quote above? It’s not meant to be inspirational but a horrible exposition of our modern society.

The day before the Umpqua College shooting that took 13 people and injured 20 others, it’s believed that the killer headed to the anonymous forum of the university to discuss his intentions. The reaction from several other posters, instead of trying to talk him out of hit or alerting the authorities, was to offer their advice on how to best execute his plan! Again, the same rhetoric that we saw after the Isla Vista shooting in 2014 came up, to go after women as they offer an easier target, but to do this, he needed to avoid “beta males throwing themselves for their rescue.”

Back then I discussed how we as a society create and feed this kind of monsters. I commented how a culture of cowardly infamy and a need to be noticed no matter what provided the perfect breeding ground for this kind of cowardly act. What I didn’t consider back then is how we already have a way to dissuade this kind of events, something that hit me across the face as I read that quote.

…No beta males throwing themselves for their rescue…

I found this quote rather surprising as this behavior is exactly what has been socially defined as the Beta Male.  The Beta Male, as defined by Urban Dictionary, is “an unremarkable, careful man who avoids risk and confrontation. Beta males lack the physical presence, charisma and confidence of the Alpha male.” Yet with that definition, most acts of White Knighting are usually attributed to beta males. Last I checked, throwing yourself in harm’s way to protect others is actually the opposite of “avoids risk and confrontation.”

Unfortunately, the extreme factions within the Feminist movement have promoted the idea that any man stepping up and helping women is an open act of sexist and a promotion of the patriarchy. On the other end of the SJW spectrum, the extreme MRA’s (Men’s Rights Activists) promote the idea that men being told to step up and defend women are actually hurting men as it promotes the idea that a man’s life is worth less than a woman’s.

Just to be clear, neither of these extreme factions represents either the Feminist Movement or the Men’s Right Movement and shouldn’t be used to diminish what both groups do to help gender equality. Now if both movements would try to keep in check and muzzle their more radical members that would be great.

So how can we challenge a word that tells men not to step up? How can we promote the idea that everyone is willing to run and hide, letting evil run rampant? How can we change a world where everyone validates their personal Victimhood as an excuse to commit horrible acts?

The answer is rather simple. By letting the world know you’re not a victim. I’m not talking about walking around with an assault rifle flung over your shoulder. In truth, I view that as an act of promoting the notion of victimhood as you believe it will keep you from being a victim. I am talking about having the moral fiber and the character to do moral acts no matter what society tells you. It’s about speaking up and standing up when they want you to sit down and be quiet. It’s about keeping your warrior spirit alive when everyone wants you to kill it off. It’s about wearing that White Knight Armour proudly. 

“I Just Want To See You As Messed Up As Me.”

You can’t fix yourself by breaking someone else.

Unknown

As of late, I have been looking over several social situations, some that hit close to home and some that are just general issues that affect me indirectly. This got me wondering why I have stepped away from the activism front. I mean, when I started Being Caballero, part of me wanted to give men the tools to better themselves, but another part wished to help make this a better world in general. This second half made me question how I could do it without being in the front line of the debate. That’s when I look at the front-liners and understand why I stepped away.

Most people don’t want to change the world to a better place. Their intentions aren’t to fix a problem, nor is it to produce solutions, but rather to wallow in the fact that the issue exists. These can be broken down into two distinct groups, the Wounded and the Patch-Sellers. The sad part is that neither group wants to fix the problem they fight against. They just want to see the other person messed up.

The Wounded just want others to feel as hurt as they do, where retribution becomes an all-consuming goal. This want is forged by a need for others to understand their pain, a thirst for vengeance, or simply a disdain for anyone not suffering as well. They view life as unjust, as they can’t accept anyone having happiness or success if they don’t have it as well. All too often we find ourselves “helping” these people by becoming their weapons of “justice” or punishing ourselves; either are done usually out of a sense of guilt. The reality is this first group deserves sympathy, understanding, and support. They need our help and our empathy, but remember that neither is achieved by attacking someone else or torturing ourselves.

The Patch-Sellers, on the other hand, are simply looking for an excuse to manifest behavior that otherwise would be frowned upon through the use of manufactured rage and theatrical disgust. Their weapons are thing that are usually viewed under a negative light, such as aggression, oppression, abuse, and shaming yet society tends to find these actions acceptable and are even applaud them when done for “the right reasons” to help the “right people.” All too often, the Patch-Sellers will use the Wounded as pawns and shields to avoid reprisal from others, as the Patch-Sellers reap the benefit of a constant conflict as they promote an “eye for an eye” mentality. There is a reality that comes from the “an eye for an eye” ideology; the man selling the eye patches gets rich. Usually the Patch-Seller have set up shop long before the conflict became popular.

Before you get guilted into action, consider what the problem is and what's the solution you want to achieve. If you just want to take action for action’s sake, to feel like you are doing something, you will probably just complicate the problem even further and often end up hurting innocent people along the way. Stop and consider if you are even being used to promote someone’s interests and agenda. There is the real possibility that you are being used as your idea of righteousness and honor actually makes you somewhat predicable.

If you are ever in doubt over what you should do, just consider that helping someone never involves hurting someone else. You can’t fix one person by breaking another.