Be Tailor-Made

Resistance to the organized mass can be effected only by the man who is as well organized in his individuality as the mass itself.

Carl Jung

As a teenager in full blown rebellion and social angst, I openly try to challenge every single notion that was given to me, to the dismay of my teachers, the principal, and my parents. I challenged every status quo I came with every word and every action. I wanted to break down the chains I felt held back society as I tried to rip off people’s blindfold. I know now that the only reason I was able to get away with that attitude was a combination of my grades, that I was able to argue without becoming aggressive or vulgar, and that they viewed me as an artist. Artists are socially expected to be rebels. At some time during those years, my grandfather sat me down and challenged me with a single question:

If you are an individual, why do you dress and talk like the rest of your friends?

Although I went on a rant as to how I refused to become a drone to a society trying to keep everyone in line, internally I realized something. In my fight to avoid becoming a drone to society, I had become a drone to MY society. I fought what they fought and agreed with what they agreed. In my attempt to avoid seeking the approval of society, I ended up seeking the approval of my niche.

That’s when I started to wake up.

As we are bombarded by people telling us to how to act, how to be, and EVERYTHING we are doing wrong; many times we are made to feel how the only way to fit in is to fit a mold. The reality is that no single mold that fits everyone. So we so often force ourselves into that mold, even if we deny it, simply to feel we are part of something bigger than ourselves. And being part of something bigger than yourself is not only OK, it’s actually something very good to be. The problem is when you stop thinking for yourself as you get assimilated within the group. After a while you lose who you are as you get lost in the crowd. We see this in every aspect of society and the different tribes we belong too.

We see how people defend the indefensible simply because it’s said by the group they identify with. We see how people will condemn good ideas simply because they are said by those you oppose. We see this in politics, religion, social justice issues, and society in general. They will use a magnifying glass over those they oppose yet turn a blind eye to those they support.

And that’s where you have to wake up.

I know that this might sound counterintuitive coming from a person who promotes the Gentleman niche within society. I keep finding myself at odds with some of the other bloggers who promote this contemporary Gentleman’s revival, as they will basically focus on their own view of becoming a Gentleman, one I find myself not agreeing with so often. That is why I try my best to avoid telling you how to specifically act. I simply expose the concepts and the practicality, leaving the means and methods of it to you.

Identifying with a group is fine, but more importantly is for you to identify with yourself. You need to take the time to form your own educated ideals and code of conduct. Create a code that avoids the so often convenient double standards found within so many larger groups. Keep in mind that this will never be a code written in stone. It isn’t that your code changes but rather that it is constantly evolving, as with every day you learn more and with each day you grow more.

If you can’t be faithful to yourself, how can you be faithful to anyone else?