A gentleman is defined by how
he loves, not by who he loves.
Being
Caballero
A few weeks ago, I had a couple I
have known for years over for dinner. During the usual conversation, one of
them brought up a simple question, “What’s your biggest pet peeve when dealing
with people’s opinion about gentlemen.” For me the answer was obvious, especially
when considering my dinner guests. “The idea that a gentleman is a gentleman
just to impress women.” The reason I say ‘considering my dinner guests’ is
because this couple in particular are two of the most distinguished gentlemen I
have met in my life as well as one of the most stable couples I have met in my
life.
And that’s when I realized this is a
topic I have covered only slightly as most of my writing is based on my own
perspective as a straight man. The reality is I found that I should be a lot more
inclusive in my own articles as what defines a gentleman is in no way defined by
his sexual orientation, but rather by his actions as a man.
Chivalry and elegance has nothing to
do with WHO you love, but rather HOW you love. I have met plenty of straight
men who are far from gentlemen, and plenty of gay and bi men, and even some
women, who are excellent examples of an elegant masculinity. So the next time
you consider that a gentleman acts as he does to impress women, reconsider and
reevaluate your own preconception of the word gentleman.
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