The Guy You Used To Be...

 It’s not about the Guy you used to be, but the Gentleman you’ve become.

Being Caballero's Motto

If you’re reading this, means you’ve seen this phrase in all my cover images. And you might think it’s a rather cool phrase, somewhat catchy, and just leave it at that. The reality behind it is probably the biggest challenge every man trying to better himself has to face, living past the man they used to be.

People might say that they live in the present, or that the actions they do today define who they are. But the truth is that we live in a society that reinforces shame and guilt, a society that will try to make you small because of the man you used to be. And it will remind you everything you have done wrong every time you start to do better. Be it your acquaintances, your friends, your spouse, or even worse, yourself, someone will drag out your past mistakes and failures to bring you down. That shame of who you were, and that fear that you will never live down your past, is usually what keeps you from moving forward.

An even more dangerous attitude is accepting these past sins as what defines you. “This is who I am. You don’t like it, F.U.” Really? You don’t even like yourself and want to change, so why start lying to yourself just because others would rather bring you down and limit yourself. Why let their attitude empower them by depowering you?

Here’s the reality. Life is like a Credit Card. You do bad things; you don’t pay them at that time. But that debt is there, and creates interest. And just when things start to turn around, as you start to make life work, the collection agencies will start knocking at your door. That is how Karma works. So treat it like a collection agency. Accept your responsibility, deal with your debt, and accept the interest it accumulated. That is part of the process to make your life right.

Now, as with collection agencies that get overzealous and greedy, learn when to give yourself enough respect and learn when to tell them “No.” Don’t give them power over your life. These people thrive on making others miserable, and will feed of your guilt, many times unfounded guilt. Becoming a Better Man is hard enough without having to add people trying to sabotage your life.

Give yourself value. Sure, you might have messed up; you might have strayed from your path. That’s not being a bad person, it’s called being human. Stand up, brush it off and move forward. Just don’t think you won’t have to pay back that debt with interest. Respect yourself enough to move forward. Don’t let anyone stop you, especially yourself.