When you arise in the morning, think
of what a precious privilege it is to be alive—to breathe, to think, to enjoy,
to love.
Marcus
Aurelius
Gentlemen,
every day is a day of celebration simply because you survived another day in
this world. The fact that you are still married or have avoided getting
married, that you have a child or that “you are not the father,” that you are
well off or have been able to survive your current economic limitations, or
simply the fact that you are alive is reason enough to celebrate. For that last
reason alone you deserve a gift or, actually, six gifts to be more precise. You
have spent the last few weeks in a never-ending anxiety attack, searching for
the perfect present for everyone else, so don’t you think is time to give
yourself some well-deserved rewards for trying to become a better man? Here is
a list of 6 things you can give to yourself, for what you’ve endured and maybe
even to help you get in the right mindset for what’s to come:
1.
The Tailored Suit
If
the Samurai had their armor, the Spartans had their Shield, the Knights had
their Full-Plate, and Ironman had his Mark XLII, Modern Men have a proper Suit
and Tie. Nothing tells others that you mean business like a good tailored suit.
I know that some of you might think that suits and dressing well is all about
being superficial and you are all about inner beauty or some other excuse you
might come up with to hide your insecurities. Dressing well is not about vanity
but about taking care of yourself. It’s about self-respect and about being
honest when you present yourself to the world. The biggest message you are
constantly, maybe unconsciously, sending to everyone around you is that how you
treat yourself is how you will treat others.
A
man should always have a proper, well-fitted suit available in their closet. We
will have several events in every year that will require wearing a suit, such
as meeting your fiancé’s father or you being the fiancé’s father, going to that
interview for your dream job or heading out to a special dinner to celebrate
you got said job, or simply heading to a court hearing for whatever happened
after the previous celebration. Nothing in this world can stop a proper
Gentleman in a nice suit, with the only exception being a lovely Lady in her
“little black dress.”
2.
Manicure
A
manicure? Really? Yes! It has the word MAN in it so it must for Men.
All
joking aside, take the time to pamper yourself. Just think of how you show off
your hands every day. You shake people’s hands, a true Caballero’s presentation
card, whenever you greet them. You direct people’s attention with hand
gestures, show them off every time you use your phone in public, or attract
everyone’s attention to them every time you sign a document. These are just a
few everyday moments when your hands draw more attention than your charming
personality. Your hands show off your manly strength or your gentlemanly
tenderness. In the olden days you would carry your family crest on your hand
and today it is where you carry your symbol of eternal fidelity and love. So
going around with bitten nails and calloused hands really takes away from who
you are. This is all about self-respect, so take the time to make them
presentable, the same way you should with all other aspects of yourself.
3.
Project Car
Sometimes
life can be overwhelming. The easiest way to deal with that feeling is to view
Life as nothing more than a long list of smaller challenges instead of a
massive project. What better practice for that mentality than a project based
on the same premise.
Get
an old broken down car. Don’t look at the car thinking about the total amount
of work that it needs, but rather handle it one piece at a time. Teach yourself
to look at how much you have achieved instead of how much work you still have
to do. Take the time to enjoy every moment you can get to work on it. If you
are not mechanically inclined, pick something else. Just remember that you
don’t have a deadline, so pick something you can take your sweet personal time
and space to finish.
Note:
I do not recommend a home expansion project for this or basically anything you
can’t cart off your property, in case you get tired or lose interest in it.
Your wife and friends may remind you every day that the project is not
finished. Also, it might end up being an incomplete permanent addition and
could actually lower your home’s value.
4.
Journal
Life
is a constant journey, and sometimes you need a quick reminder of just how far
you have traveled. Sure, there is digital media available: blogs, notes, or
whatever other electronic-based ways to keep track of what you have done.
Unfortunately, these have the bad habit of disappearing from your files when
you most need them or appearing in someone else’s computer when you least need
them too.
Get
a physical journal and every day write something in it, no matter how random.
That interesting quote you found online, that weird dream, or that thought you
could not get out of your head will be a perfect entry. Weeks or even months
later you will realize that those entries were not as random as you thought.
5.
Unplug for 24 hours
In
a world with instant access to the universe, the down side is that the universe
has instant access to you. We have become slaves to texting, social media, emails,
and calendar. We will take out our phones during a concert or when we take our
kids to the park, or whatever other event in our lives; just to share it with
everyone online, most of whom don’t really care. This comes at the expense of
truly living in the moment. Apparently we need to see the world through a smart
phone screen to be able to properly enjoy it.
Take
one day to simply unplug. Set up your autoreply, turn off your phone, and leave
your laptop or tablet at home. For the next 24 hours forget that you need to
reply to every text you get, comment on every status update, or even read every
email. Head out to the great outdoors and breathe nature, or take your kids to
the park and actually play with them, or go for a walk, or simply sit down at a
coffee shop and look at the people strolling by. For the rest of the day, learn
to listen to yourself and the world around you. You will be amazed at what you
will notice and you will realize that the world did not end because you did not
update your status.
6.
Make a Random Act of Kindness
Remember
how this all started? You are thankful that you survived another year. Some
people are not as lucky. Give yourself permission to help someone out, and
become your own reason why your faith in humanity should be restored. This can
be something as simple as paying a stranger’s tab at a restaurant, or helping
out at a soup kitchen or leaving a gift card on a random car’s windshield in a
parking lot. Do something, anything! Just make sure it is an anonymous gesture.
This is not about looking for your own glory or vanity, but rather knowing that
you have the power to give hope to other people. Who knows, in this
ultra-connected world, what you thought was a simple act might just go viral,
inspiring others to do good as well.
So,
there you go. These are the six gifts you can give to yourself this season. A
suit and proper hands so your exterior image will reflect your interior
mind-set, a physical project and a journal to record your journey as a man, and
the time to listen to the world so you can best give voice to it. They all seem
simple enough, right? Remember to always be a Gentleman-Warrior, a Caballero.
Learn to let go of what is not really important and enjoy the ride.
(Re-post of an article done for Good Men Project)
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